@martinvandyk understood, I was there for a very long time and some of the same issues but have over time did some recovering and still am after almost 3 years this next year of mental retraining and healing. i Could and on occasion should not say anything but that wouldn't be me. i was a leaded of many different jobs and then a tumor took me down and now i am back and coming on strong and try to pass on what i can to help anyone struggles with their fears. i don't give up or sit idle i have to do even if it is to make you smile a short smile to your inner self. Bet you i make you unintentionally smile internally at my caring on. so with that have a blessed day today and wish someone a Happy Mothers Day.