@gratia I try to seek balance by giving up a lot of what I used to do and how I did things. The morning, I wake up first where it's quiet and that helps anchor me. That first hour is key, on the computer on this site, and sometimes setting up whatever we're going to eat for the day since once he's up, I don't want to scramble, especially for dinner. Homemade meat balls, etc. have now taken a back seat to good-tasting store-bought ones with sauce I froze and/or doctored up from a jar. When I start to snap at everything around me, I know it's time to take a mental break. I box breathe, to calm myself down. If I'm dealing with a lot of medical appointments for my husband, I don't fill my plate with my own. Talking to friends about my challenges doesn't seem to help, as they don't understand unless they are in the same boat with a family member. People just don't want to talk or hear about sadness. And I get it. When you feel out of control, if the weather is nice, go outside, talk a walk, sit and listen to the birds, talk to the neighbors if you can, just sit and reflect in the sunlight. And just breathe.......As for the not knowing our down the road outome - which bothers me too - take one day at a time. Try not to think about the unknown because we can't control it, change it, and only God knows the outcome for each and every one of us on this journey. Best, Karla