Hi, @gratia I'm Scott, and I was my wife's caregiver during her 14+ year war. While I know each patient, their disease, and caregiver are unique, here are a few things that helped me.

First, I realized and accepted that my new life as a caregiver forced a new 'balance' in my life. It varied, but basically was 90-10, where before caregiving, my wife and I were about 50-50. This was the new 'balance' I had to live with. I realized I had to remove a lot of things from my life, but found even deeper meaning and love in those additional demands I had to pick up. The caregiving pendulum's swing as whacky as it got, still left me a bit of time -- even if it tended to be in the wee hours of the mornings.

I agree, the unknown is extraordinarily tough to deal with! My dad was a longtime alcoholic, so I embraced the AA mantra of "one day at a time". This helped me to live more in the moment that I had before. I also had to acknowledge that the unknown is just that -- unknown.

I also taped a quote I like to my bathroom mirror, so I'd see it every day. It is this: "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day that can only manage to whisper 'I will try again tomorrow'"

Strength, Courage, & Peace