@edsutton,@grammato3, and all... I began this thought process several years ago after receiving a diagnosis that shook me deeply, pushing me into a different reality. I thought I had dealt with my mortality fairly well during and after caring for 12+ years for my mother who suffered greatly from Altzheimer's. I was the only family member who helped her during those years, so there were many years of deep searching dealing with emotional family and personal relationships as well as mortality itself.

I found after receiving the diagnosis and prognosis of my own new illness, there was more internal work to be done. I withdrew peacefully into my thoughts, sitting in my home quitely, thoughtfully working through the disease information and prognosis, and moving into the practical aspects of ending life.

My son is now 57 years old, only child and I am now single for many years, living alone. My son is 100% disabled for over 25 years and deteriorating fairly quickly now. If I survive him, I am determined to leave him with a minimum of turmoil, decisions and issues to face.

I spent the last several years clearing out my home, completely. I alone cleared my mother's home after her move into assisted living and was devastated by that experience. She was not prepared for living at that point, surely not for dying. I had her entire life's belongings to go through - papers, photos, clothing, shoes... she loved gorgeous shoes... furnishings, antiques, paintings, and of course the normal kitchen and living stuff. I did it all by myself. Alone.

My business suffered for a couple of months during that time, as I was not available and had to hire more help. Decisions are overwhelming... a decision on each piece of paper I picked up, each piece of jewelry and every full drawer. It was devastating for me emotionally, physically, financially, in every aspect of my life.

At that moment, I made a clear decision that would not be my legacy for my son. In 2025, I cleared my home, completely. I hired an estate sale company and sold everything I didn't love in some special way and want to keep until my death. I sold many dear collection, furniture - even family pieces that were hard to let go, but my son will not want nor use any of that and other family had everything they could need. So, I mourned and went through quite a time letting go of my life other than necessities and the most dear items I own. It continues to be hard at times, remembering and missing some things, but I am relieved, unburdened by things now and have a lightness about my shoulders. It's done. It feels excellent.

I gave my dear son the best, kindest, most loving gift a mother can give. Peace.

Then, I had lawyers complete the paperwork you've discussed, after working the particulars with my son. It made him deal clearly with my mortality as well. That isn't easy for our children. But, necessary.

Left to accomplish are the final financial issues of final planning, cemetary and such. I wrote my obituary, my celebration of life or memorial preferences, even the hymns and music I would love at any service. All up to my son or whomever is planning. No service is necessary at my age and situation. Many of my friends are gone now, unable or unwilling to attend such services, and it may simply be an unnecessary expense and a lot of work. I don't truly care at this point. Do what is best for him.

I am now working on my son to get the paperwork completed and decisions made for his last wishes. I may deal with that depending on his health, but someone will need this completed, so I must help him deal with his reality.

I also had my home renovated a bit for more comfort and ease of aging... large walk-in shower, new flooring and painting, easy decorating for my comfort and simplicity. I have a small kitchenette in an upstairs bedroom so I can live comfortably upstairs, safely avoiding the stairs if I need. It is a good situation for my life at this moment.

After experiencing 2 different month long NH rehab visits last year learning to walk again, regaining limited mobility and strength from serious hospitalization, I made a firm decision and made it well known I do not intend to move into a NH if I am able to make my own decisions. I learned a lot and am quite determined to not be in that situation again.

So, there you go, folks. I'm here for however long I am here... until my lord and I come face to face. I am attempting to live these months, years with clarity and have some control and peace over my life. I enjoy being alone now, enjoy my 'new' home and my situation, enjoy my scaled down lifestyle. I have a lovely peace knowing the junky stuff is completed.

May you take the steps you choose to walk as you choose this last journey in life. We have no control over the method or timing we leave this life, but we can and I think we should do our best to leave is as orderly as possible. No, I'm not a control freak, but it does feel wonderful knowing I am leaving my son with as clear a path as I can. I faced reality and moved ahead. Lovely!
Blessings, Elizabeth