@edsutton This is certainly something I've given a great deal of thought to, even before my diagnosis. When my dad died, shortly after I became an EOLD (End of Life Doula), I realized how helpful it is to have premade funeral plans in place as I felt it would spare the family the additional grief and burden of having to make those plans during an already heavy emotional time; not the least of which was outlay of money as funeral costs can be prohibitive. It was not something my husband felt comfortable exploring, so I set about investigating options and associated costs. I discussed my findings with my husband and family before settling on the decision and have set up a monthly payment plan that will be paid in full a year from this month; the arrangements are for my husband and myself and honor each of our wishes. We had previously gotten all of our documents in order: wills, medical proxies, finances, etc.

When I got my diagnosis, I gave myself time to absorb the information, do research and get my mind, body, and spirit aligned - including speaking to a rabbi with whom I have maintained dialogue for my spiritual needs. I have a document I've shared with one of my daughters-in-law on some specifics for end of life, memorial preferances including songs I like. I am myself a hospice volunteer and am fortunate that their service includes in-patient care so have discussed that option as well. As I was quite ill over the winter I had also raised some concerns with my husband about not wanting to prolong agony - for myself or loved ones - if I become aware there is no further medical hope and I provided what those options might be and how I strongly I felt about them. Medical situations change and I realize a death plan cannot be strictly adhered to far in advance; there is always room for flexibilty and decision making while I have the capacity make my own choices. In the event I do not, there is documentation in place to have my wishes be known....and respected.

I have kept up a journal of sorts, mostly fond memories and photos, for my grandchildren, to serve as an ongoing legacy of life and love, happy moments we have and continue to share. I've already written letters and given keepsakes to each of my three grandchildren to be opened at a various milestones in their lives, whether I'm here to share that time with them or not, because I want them to know I will always be part of their lives.