I have the same situation, of course. If I try to help my wife, she says, "I'm not a baby". She also lost her license exactly 2 years ago. She's upstairs, where she has been for about a year every day, "studying the driver's book to get her license back. It's heart-wrenching!! I just can't tell her she can't get it back. I take her on the weekends to school or empty industrial parking lots to let her drive. That satisfied her for about a year. Of course, she can't remember how to put it in drive, but we still do it, and she says I just haven't done this for a long time. She couldn't do mazes or the mini cogs when they came to test her at the neurologist's request. Her children see her very little, even though all three are less than 30 minutes away. So, I practice the mazes with her, usually after church on Sunday, and we practice the six mini cogs most neurologists use. She says she knows them, even though she can't do them. Every time we try, she starts talking and never gets through them. I eventually give up with her saying, "I can do those". It is extremely stressful and I still work from home. She can still get around the neighborhood and walk our little Goldendoodle. I make her take her phone with a tracker on it and she complains and balks every time. She got locked in a one-person bathroom a few weeks ago at my doctor's office and I was yelling for her to turn the doorknob. After 10 minutes, I was headed to the front desk to get maintenance to come take off the knob or door or something, she finally got out. So I don't let her go in any one-person restrooms now.
I had a doctor overdose me on prednisone, and between that and, they say, all the stress, I ended up with and ruptured colon and had an emergency colostomy and now on oxygen 24/7 and retinal detachment in one eye and cataracts in the other. No one understands the stress, and my wife understands it the least. I wish I had answers for all or even any of us. I've been through a lot in life, but in those situations, understanding and reasoning helped. With Dementia, there is no reasoning. My wife's not violent, like. I've read that some here have trouble with. So, as long as your husband doesn't get violent, you're ahead of the game. I try to take it one situation at a time and usually say "You're right," and that usually ends things. When it comes to her safety, I don't back down, and usually she will give in and do what I'm asking her to do, but she gets mad and says I'm mean. I've been on this site for about three years, and it's been good just to see I'm not alone. So I'm glad you shared what's going on with you and your husband.