Two years, ago, I sold a house next door to my good friends (his wife had Alzheimer's). Unfortunately, the stubborn 92-year-old husband was in major denial. His wife was 86. He wanted no part of leaving Florida. When he brought it up to her, she naturally was anxious and confused. Time went on, they had very few friends in the neighborhood they had lived in, for over 30 years. People realized her progression and his denial. He started talking to me about a move back closer to where his daughter lived and to where he had an off-season condo. To calm her, I started showing pictures of her kids, grandchildren, etc, that lived where they were considering moving. I worked closely with the family and their adult children. Together, over time, we were able to get them moved. Start planning with your Vermont children to make the move. Start clearing things out of your house, you've no doubt collected in Florida. Give it to charity, what I had my neighbor do. Call in a realtor, get an assessment on your house so you know what's it's worth. Have that realtor do a net to seller sheet, of what your total closing costs will be. Interestingly enough that net to seller sheet I did for my neighbor was very instrumental in getting him to move because of the excessive club dues, he would be getting back at the closing table along with what his house sold for. The money became too good to pass up. Your situation may be a bit different, since you want the move, your husband doesn't. But what's not different. You have to plan what's best for you as a caregiver. Encouragement from your adult children can be so supportive, and loving, and extremely helpful when as caregivers, most of us feel all alone in this. Just start positioning yourself to make a move. Do what's right for you, and in doing that, it will be good for your husband too, much closer to family.
Best Karla