@feygirrl I'm still in the grieving process, I think. I'm a middle-aged man that seemed to have somewhat of a bright future. I was confident in myself, I had some savings in the bank, and I was looking to progress in my career. I was looking forward to getting into a relationship and just being somewhat normal. I've already dealt with a lot of other issues in my life that I overcame and I was getting to a place of happiness. That all was snatched away within a few months. Now I'm wishing for to be somewhat normal again. I feel that is a long shot at this point. Now I'm alone and just trying to do what I can to feel descent. I've been going to physical therapy for almost a year, and I've been seeing a chiropractor. Crazy how life just flips on you. This has just been a lonely painful experience. I do deal with gout and I take allopurinol. Yes, that pain has gone away for the most part. I was told to take B12 vitamins. I'm just tired of being by myself. I want to go to support groups, but they are hard to find. I did attend a class at mayo that was helpful. Although it was depressing, it was nice to be around people that were dealing with the same thing as me. At this point I may have to find a partner that has issues like me. I did start to have a small crush on a woman in that class that I know I wasn't supposed to due to her relationship status. She didn't know it but that made me think there may be someone dealing with the same thing as me that may be looking for a relationship. Point being this is an adjustment to say the least, but I do appreciate your advice and the kind words.