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The in-between life and death cancer
Cancer: Managing Symptoms | Last Active: 4 days ago | Replies (91)Comment receiving replies
I’m looking for this group every day in my emails. My heart is touched by every story I read.. I so appreciate that people affected by cancer either a patient or a caregiver gives us all a clue how to live with this diagnosis.
Every day lately I either hear from my sibling more details of his grade 4 cancer or I follow up with my own research. So far, the genetics and DNA results are the very worst possible. Radiation and chemo won’t help very much.
I can hear the sadness in his voice and behavior. However, my family invariably handles bad news with a stiff upper lip. I have here and there let him know and our sister that I am sad and at the same time very proud of him. For expressing how I feel-I’m criticized! At the same time my sister is always unreasonably optimistic-bunnies and rainbows and unicorns. Both my brother and myself find this irksome and not helpful as the writing is on the wall and it’s not good. Being realistic apparently is the help he wants.
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@judyandchloe
I hope that you can find some one-on-one time with your brother so that the two of you can speak freely with each other without interruption from the bunnies & rainbows.
When my mother-in-law was dying I tried to do this but was quickly shushed by family members. I wasn’t blood so I stepped out, but can’t help feeling that she would have wanted to have a say. On the other hand, when my dad had a major incident my brother the optimist was right about the outcome while realistic
me later admitted that there was some room for positivity.
Still, I think we need to honor the patient’s feelings and allow him to speak. He is sad and scared and if he’s wiling to share with you that is a great gift that you can offer. (But there’s also the chance that he may not want t make you sad.) Sending hugs.