@papersoup
You sound exactly like I did or still do. The only advice I can give is to try not to listen to the anxiety and depression and try to find joy in whatever it may be a movie, forcing your self to leave the apartment to go do whatever even if its by yourself. Even if you have one friend you see once a month if that or none thats ok but dont let yourself become occupied with your thoughts. If a doctor brushes you off DO NOT LET them.

For me I isolated with those thoughts for too long which led to unhealthy habits, stopped exercising etc…which led to those anxieties to come true. I still have those thoughts except I now also have a physical illness on top which is taking away my mobility, ability to function and will be almost certainly homeless soon. The homeless part I have no control over as I cannot work anymore and do not have anyone.

I despise the saying “it could be worse” but I know its true because it happened to me and continues to as I physically keep declining. It is true hell to be both mentally and physically ill. I always wondered what would be worse.

you sound like me as in I could have wrote that word for word. My anxiety had me thinking at first someone who knows me wrote it to mock me.

I guess what Im trying to say is do not let these thoughts bring you to another level of suffering. A suicide attempt is not the only way to end up with permanent physical issues. Im living proof of that. Anxiety and depression led me to this as I ignored my physical health so now Im in both mental and physical pain.

Maybe its no help and its depressing what Im saying but just please dont let your thoughts become true because everything I worried and constantly thought about ended up actually happening. All those anxieties are/were a lie and now all I want is to go back to how I was living before when I was telling myself how shit my life is, have no friends etc. I really wish I could go back cause my life was actually pretty good despite of how shit I thought it was. NOW it is actual shit and Im doing all the things I stressed about.

This became a venting post for me but please dont let your anxieties and depression win and spiral to another level. I cant take my own suggestion/advice anymore but wish I had when I still could have.

Thats all I have and it may not be of help just what I am experiencing. so I guess what I am saying is do whatever you can to not let it get worse. Ive lost everything so at this point therapy or medication is not really an option and my physical illness is incureable and progressive.

I truely feel for you. Just warning to what can happen. I hate all the sayings too - be positive, it could be worse…I keep getting those now from people AFTER it DID get worse. So its not it could be worse but it can and will be if and there is a certain point you cant come back which is not death itself. Im not even 50 yet …. Maybe you will find one piece of advice from others that will help. Just trust you do not want to end up like me if you can avoid it