@abida You have been through a tragic and significant loss, abida. Would you care to share more about your spirituality and how it helped you through this time? Teresa

Teresa it has been and still is a difficult task like I mentioned I have days of struggle in which I have to muster every ounce of strength that I have left to get up and get going. It's been five years but I still feel as if he is going to say to me mom I am home what have you made for lunch;I smiling laughing teasing his sibling.Yes it has been difficult but I am a believer and God gave me strength to understand and not to question His decision.Besides His calming influence I was and am.an avid reader and a music lover so that has helped also in a way.I just wish that no one ever has to go through what I went through.May God always keep you and your loved ones in the palm of His Hand .Healing takes time but such a wound is always ready to bleed

@abida We all appreciate the very lovely response you provided us. I see that you included many forms of spirituality - faith in God, literature, sweet memories of your son as well as music. You have been blessed with so many strengths! Teresa

"The Lord is near the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit"
The bible verse that has helped me through several difficult times in my life -- but none as difficult as what you have experienced. God bless you @abida -- I know he is near you.

@pdilly, hi. I so needed to hear this post. Thank you for it. I didnt wake up until 3:30 in the pm. Days and nihts are turned around some. But as soon as i woke up i was in a bad way. Im on Facebook, trying tl do what little i can in the way of advocating for animals. The first thing i saw was the account of two teen boys watching a man drown in a pond, laughing, and pointing and filming it. I burst into tears. Jesus must come soon. Thank you fornyour post. Dany

@pdilly This is unbelievable, about the two teens watching a man drown. I am glad they have them on film so they could easily be apprehended. My stomach is sick at the thought of it. I firmly believe that the violence in the media contributes much to this type of behavior. I was so strict about what my two could watch when growing up.
JK

@pdilly, didnt you see? Florida is saying they cant charge them with anything because its not against the law to not render aid? That's one reason i was so heartsick. But we both know that true judgement and retribution comes later anyway. It's just a reprehensible and sad thing for his family to have to go through. Bless you, Dany

@abida

I wish I could say that life never got me down to a place where I couldn't climb out. I was in that deep, dark hole for what seemed like a long time, and climbing out took even longer. I made it up far enough to sit on the edge, and moving away from the hole to a place where I was safe took time, as well. That period of my life was from 2003 to 2014. I still see a therapist every week for depression, PTSD, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.

Throughout that time, I felt abandoned, but not by God. I knew He was always with me, putting in overtime protecting me from myself. I began following Christ as a young child, and I've been a minister for 45 years, though I retired in 2006 because I was seriously disabled by mental illness and suicide attempts. I remain active in a good church, playing the piano and leading worship.

When I was in the dark hole, I couldn't pray or read. I had to rely on the faith I had put into practice for more than 50 years. Even though my faith in God didn't change, it was a time of feeling cold spiritually. Before I retired, it was very difficult to prepare sermons and be a pastor. I called a friend a few times, who would come and preach for me. I retired in 2006, and moved to a home we had purchased two years earlier, where I began recovery. It was a hard time for my wife, as well, and I regret that.

My faith is certainly at the core of my survival. Others have had a part in it, but God is my center.

Jim

Jim, God does love us. I'm so glad your faith has seen you through the dark places in your life. He never leaves us.
I too accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior when I was very young, but ignored His teachings for many years later in life. I sunk into deep depression in my early 20s and was admitted to the hospital and diagnosed as Bipolar. I didn't function well for two years, but I never lost hope. I have now learned I must depend on God everyday to function. He has blessed me in so many ways and is using me in the church. It has been a hard road and I had to endure heartaches because I would not turn loose and give all my life to Him. The day I did, everything changed. I now have received His peace and it is wonderful.
Blessings

@liz223 Liz, I am not quite as religious as you probably but I do believe very strongly. I have huge respect for people who take it even further. You comments about the day you gave your life to Him reminded of an article about Denzel Washington. His father was a preacher but Denzel rejected religion for a while. When he turned back to God his life changed. He is very devout now and apparently a real "stand up guy". I admire him for being so in the plastic world of Hollywood.
JK