@judithsmiles I've been away for a while. I read through the replies and this one really jumps out at me. Mom has never had any fear of risks. I think she's been going down the basement steps even though she denies it. It'll surely be a major injury if not fatal. Several of her now deceased friends had serious falls, including down the cellar steps. She says quite simply "it'll never happen to me." And she believes it because she's also lucky as hell.

So your recommendation to respect her preferences is moot at this time. I really have no influence over what she does. She's threatened to remove me from her will which we can't find. I've talked about the scams where she hated me because I brought the police into the scam to investigate. Mom refused to say anything to them. She blamed me for losing millions of dollars from a Publishers Clearing House scam. She falls back into that mindset at the drop of a hat.
We're having issues now from the physical therapy group. Her therapist wants her to see the family doctor because they started taking BP readings before therapy. They also eased up on some exercises. Mom gets a lot out of therapy. She loves the therapist. She called a minute ago leaving a message that Mom needs to see her doctor about her BP. Her cardiologist has adjusted her meds and has declared it's not going to get any better. Meanwhile Mom's been searching online and decided she's not going to take one of the meds because it's bad for her kidneys. We've tried to get her to understand her high BP untreated will cause worse problems, like a stroke (which she had about ten years ago) as well as other damage.
Her pacemaker is ten years old next month. She's blaming everything that makes her feel old and tired on the pacemaker needing a new battery. All the tests indicate the battery is good and they've told her she's fine. Now she's worried about that. She's back online. Not my idea. I refused to buy her a new computer last winter because she searches for everything to stop taking her meds. Her younger friend bought her new computer and her neighbor installed it. Within a week all sorts of magic pills to cure everything started showing up in the mail. Now they're showing up in the trash. $40-$60 a bottle. Her bloodwork shows the itching and rash are coming from something she's been ingesting (DRS agreed). She still takes supplements that are above what's recommended.
Any questions why I just sit back and wait. I don't know if she'll get worse, I'm just trying to be there when I should.
Finally today, she doesn't realize she's into the end of life, she's doing what she's always done... work, cook, pray the same as the lsat 90 something years.
Then there's the itchy back and rashes. Dermatologist