Hi everyone,
I know it’s been a little while but I thought I’d check in. The last few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. I spent the past 2 weekends in the Mental Health Unit, the second time because I selfharmed and tried to overdose on my medication. I’m feeling exhausted.
I feel like I’ve tried so hard and for so long.... but I need someone to be there for me, to comfort me, to support me. I can’t do it on my own. But there is no one.
I’m scared. In my head I’m screaming for help but I don’t know what to do. I don’t think there is anything I can do. My family care about me but they aren’t capable of providing the comfort and support I need. I have a lot of “friends” (people from work, gym, TAFE etc) but no one I am close to. I’m desperately alone and desperately trying to keep my head above water while my hope is slowly fading.
I’m doing mindfulness, distracting myself, going to the gym, doing stuff I enjoy... but I feel like it’s all futile. I’m alone and adrift in the ocean of life.
I can call Lifeline but it’s not the same. I need a person HERE, someone I can see and feel and touch.
I can be kept safe while I’m hospitalised but it still doesn’t solve the underlying issue...
I’m alone.
@mia001 it's so important that you find a safe connection, that you find someone that you can turn to. I'm sorry that your family cannot be there for you in the way that you need them to be. Are you in a physically isolated town or Province where you cannot track down somebody who can be in your corner for you? Have you checked to make sure that one of the side effects of the medication you're on is not further depression? If so there should be something in place to try to help you get away from that side effect. I am concerned for your safety and hope that you will seriously consider getting some sort of inpatient treatment if necessary for longer than just a weekend. Please stay in touch with us and let us know how you are doing. We are here at the Cyber table and we all do care for your well-being and you.
Ginger