Hello. I want to start off by telling you that you are going to be just fine and what you're feeling is very normal even though it's really scary. I'm sorry you feel so depressed. It's a lot of hurdles recovering from such a major surgery, I know, I also had my transplant 3 weeks ago Monday.
The best advice I can give you is that you must try to understand that you are now at the doctor's mercy. They are there to help you, and you really don't have a choice but to do every single thing that they tell you to do. That includes your diet, exercising, being smart about your body movements. Every. Single. Little. Thing. You are gonna be physically and mentally pushed to the limit, but you need to push past the noise and fear in your head. Give yourself to a higher understanding that "I HAVE to do this. There is no other option." Use those negative feelings and let them work in your favor. Tell your doubts that you aren't gonna be bullied, you're not gonna be beaten. You will prevail because YOU are the strongest part of YOU. Once you can shift your mindset to knowing that nothing can stop you but yourself, things will get easier and your mood will begin to shift to positivity. It will become addictive. Every morning you may wake up stiff until you're more healed up, but you'll be actually excited to push yourself to get out of bed because it will literally make your body and your mind feel better every day. Trust me please. You can do this. There is nothing stopping you. I hope this helps you in your recovery. The very best of luck. God bless!