@ljkljk I suggest calling your county office of the Area Agency on Aging (federally funded, every county has one) and asking for an appointment. You may be eligible for a Waiver program, which provides money for homemaker/home health aide services in the home. The idea is that almost everyone entering a facility private-pay, if they live long enough, transfers to Medicaid, so keeping people in their own homes longer will save taxpayer money in the long run.
If your husband is a veteran, honorably discharged, call your county Office of Veterans Affairs and make an appointment. The VA also has a program for in-home care and there are facilities in each state that have assistive living and nursing home levels of care.
I strongly suggest getting info about that route versus thinking Medicaid will be your only option. I was surprised about how the VA handles things and that the veteran’s spouse is eligible for admission, if later needed.
Please don’t accept the broad brush statements that facilities that accept Medicaid or Veterans facilities are poorly run, poorly staffed, etc, etc. I worked in Home Care in a rural county for 32 years, was in and out of all the facilities, and later had my mother and now my husband in the one I liked best.
Finally, don’t sell your house- when you think it’s time to start looking into assistive living level of care, the Area Agency on Aging staff will help you identify facilities that accept Medicaid and help you fill out and file the Medicaid application. The state does a 5 year “look-back” to make sure assets haven’t been dumped- for example- large money gifts or sale of the house to adult children. Every state has rules against “spousal impoverishment”. They divide the assets between you and your spouse and will tell you how much you need to “spend down” and what is allowed for the spend-down, such as pre-paid funeral/burial plan, the monthly care expenses at the facility, medical and dental co-pays, etc. Once the spend-down is reached, the person converts to Medicaid. You live in your house as long as you want. When it’s sold, the net sale proceeds are divided in half and Medicaid garnishes the amount the state paid for his care, up to the amount of his share.
The VA has its own application and the Veterans office people will help you with that. I’ve spent a lot of time talking to them and researching state Medicaid vs the VA. I think VA is the financial way to go, although it will mean more driving for me. You have to try to protect yourself too.