@rachelanne @rosemarya @contentandwell @hopeful33250 here is an article that a friend sent me today. There is some nasty language for whatever reason.
http://physiqonomics.com/the-two-baskets-theory/

The issue is CONTRIBUTORY NEGLIGENCE, which can affect your insurability. You may NEED insurance backing later. I worked in cardiac rehab, we had patients who were AGRESSIVELY NON-COMPLIANT. In staffings it was often decided by the cardiologists that aggressively non compliant patients be replaced by those who cared enough to at least try to help themselves. Medicine is both art and science. I would get second opinions. (PS At age about 60, I broke my neck, was in comas for five weeks, in the hospital for eight. It was decided to keep me on life support. It took 600 days for me to regain activities of daily living. Even though you are frustrated don't give up, don't be negative. I am a realist. I have great compassion for you. Don't give up. A better treatment may come along later.

Hi I do have a lot of experience with doctors and chronic conditions. First I think doctors are really limited in getting involved with patients individually. I joined the healthy living program and I have a wellness coach now. I get to talk to her about everything on coach chat. The healthy living program does work with doctors in that doctors can refer. But people can just go themselves. If you have a wellness center and coaches that work with a medical center in your area I highly recommend. Also you can come to Mayo Rochester for a program. There are lots of programs. But the key is to get a wellness coach. They are really good and helping people set goals and support. I just signed up for a 5k race. I got all the approvals I need for training. They looked at my movements, spine, medical records to make sure I could do the training safely. So that's advantage of working with health center that is connected to doctors. Doctors won't coach you to exercise and eat right. But they can approve people for exercise and nutrition programs. Plus they provide medication. But so many chronic conditions are helped with nutrition, exercise, stress reduction, and sleep. That is the truth about medicine. Healthy living is big part of health. Food is always medicine.

@jodeej This is an interesting approach. I can see where it could be helpful, but of course it's just another label for what you should be eating and what you really should not be eating (I just had two pieces of chocolate, and they weren't even dark). This may help some people who do have negative approaches, but for me I know what I should and should not be eating and sometimes I just eat "less optimal" food anyway. I will have a great, healthy lunch, and then have something I should be staying away from. I thought I was back on track but I fell off again. I am hoping that next week I will get back on track. Our son arrives tonight (at around 2:30 A.M.!) and will be with us through Wednesday. He has been so proud of me and how well I have done that I know with him here I will be trying to be good to not disappoint him.
I think the most important thing for weight loss is motivation. I had a great motivation, I wanted to be a weight that would help my recuperation when I had my liver transplant. Now my biggest motivation is to be able to wear the nice clothes I purchased that are too snug on me now. I know I can do it, and I will. Once I get started I can keep the ball rolling -- success breeds success.
Tomorrow is the start of a new me, once again.
JK

@rachelanne Professional providers are just that -- they professionally care about you, but not on a personal level, except for the few who really do care about their patients. I think I do have some of those, fortunately. You do need to care about yourself more than you expect any professional health care provider to. I sometimes question what a provider has to say but you do need to consider what they think too, they have gone many years to school to learn what is best within their area of expertise, so for that they should be shown some respect.

I live in southern NH but go to Boston for most of my healthcare. I find the doctors I go to there to be excellent. It's a distance, but I consider it worth it because they are knowledgeable and I have found them to show concern. I do try to gain some knowledge about any health situations that are bothering me but once I have gotten some knowledge I turn to one of my doctors.

I hope you can find some health care professionals whom you feel more positive about, it really is an absolute necessity.
JK

@rachelanne

I would encourage you, as @contentandwell did, to care for yourself and accept the thoughts of the professionals that you work with as professionals, not as friendships.

You mention that your mother's death was very hard on you and you have had health problems since then. I would like to encourage you to read the discussion on Loss and Grief. Please feel free to post your comments there. You will find support there. Here is the link, https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/loss-and-grief-how-are-you-doing/

Many people in this discussion have lost a parent, including myself. As you read our posts, I hope you will find some comfort that you are not alone in your grief.

Teresa

I agree. Doctors are scientists, and all they deal with is sick people. About 20 years ago, I was upset with a permanent health condition. I said to my doctor Why me; he said Why Not You. He helped me be more accepting about medical conditions. He even said medicine is AN ART and science. Hang in there

@contentandwell I hear ya! It is a daily struggle. I like the 80/20 approach. Shoot for eating healthy 80% of the time and if you must cheat, etc. only do it 20% of the time. Don't beat yourself up and eat the chocolate. Just make your choice s healthy one!
Blessings,
JoDee

@user_cha272278

You are so right about the practice of medicine - it can be an art. Sometimes doctors do not have an artistic nature, but it sounds like you found a good one and more importantly you were receptive to his words and you were able to accept a permanent health condition. Acceptance of what cannot be changed is important with permanent health problems.

Teresa

I really try to cultivate "Peaceful Acceptance". Finding my "Place of Grace" seems to help. Victor Frankl- a concentration camp survivor,
said something to the effect that "in stimulus-response" WE CONTROL OUR RESPONSE to the STIMULUS. This makes us human. (stress.org)