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Anyone feel they made major life mistakes that are not forgivable?
Aging Well | Last Active: Apr 10 10:47am | Replies (84)Comment receiving replies
elainer I thought I was reading about me. I'm not in my sixties but 84 so you could be my daughter. My oldest daughter is 61. I wish I could stop thinking about what I should or could have done in my life. I think there is something about being a Jewish only child. I was expected to get married and have a family but that's all that was expected of me, especially in my era. My first marriage to my high school sweetheart ended in divorce. We had two daughters. Since I thought I was supposed to be married I married someone else too soon afterward. We have been married for 51 years but were separated twice. My 61 year old daughter was widowed instantly in December of 2024. One minute her husband was in the kitchen the next he was gone. I was just visiting for Passover and asked her if she would ever marry again and she said no. This was her only boyfriend that she met her first day of college. I wish I had done more with my life.
Replies to "elainer I thought I was reading about me. I'm not in my sixties but 84 so..."
@gussie
You Too sound like So Many of my childhood, College, & young Adult Friends. & I Too am in my 80's (in another 2 years - 90). Although my family wasn't Jewish, 2 of my BEST Friends Were. They followed the "1960's Script for Young Women" ... & both were divorced before our 30th Birthdays. I was standing by to watch the heartbreak in their family's.
Both my Parents (born shortly after 'the turn of the 20th Century') fell into the Marriage Trap when they were young. Both divorced #1, & re-married +- age 30. They Both cautioned my brother & me against marrying before finishing our Education, getting out in the world, enjoying the Freedom of being "foot-loose & fancy-free", & gaining a little of the wisdom that comes with Maturity.
Parents Need to start those lessons when their children are very Young, point out the advantages & Pit-Falls if you Rush into marriage too soon. I think one of the Most Important lessons my Father passed on to me was: 'If You Meet someone when you're young & You & this person 'Fall In Love', it It's For Real, you'll both wait for one another.' He Was So Right. I met My Husband when I was 14. I remember saying to myself, "When I grow up & I'm Ready to get Married, I want to find someone JUST LIKE HIM! & You'll Never Guess ... He Waited For Me to reach the age when I was ready to say "Yes". I was 28 when we walked down the Aisle ... & I consider myself "One Of The Lucky Ones". We had a little over 30 years together.
Before he died, he told me: 'After a period of Mourning I should look for another Husband & re-marry'. Well, That Was 32 years ago, & I haven't found anyone yet! If That's A Measure of True Love, I guess maybe We Had It!
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@gussie
I am 83. Getting married and having kids was all that was expected of most women in the U S. That’s all I expected of myself and I went to college primarily to find a man to marry. (My grades showed that learning was not all that important to me; I barely managed to graduate.) But I was lucky. I found the right man. It lasted for 55 years until he died at 76.