@jc8
Same here! I have been caring for my 94 year old dad in my husband and I’s home for 5 1/2 years now (and “did” for both parents while they were in their home and dad could no longer drive, for about three years before that). It was hard coming to the same conclusion that you did. That “fine” should be my response. I found it really hard to be selectively transparent anyway, feeling like I was not honoring my dad’s privacy if I told of specific care aspects I found mind blowingly challenging. So then to confide even in more general terms about the stress and having it met with looks of almost reproach as though I was being petty, or having silly solutions posed that did not respect my dads faculties, was even more isolating. The dynamics and challenges are so hard for other people to relate to. And if you speak out your frustrations and sound like you are complaining (does anyone really like cleaning up poop? Etc), then even close friends can seem to think you are being petty, etc. I have found it easier to pay a therapist once a month and just respond “fine” to other people. Most friends are now a voice on the phone now anyway, as it is hard to make and keep plans. I have a wonderful husband who is patient and loving though—so I am blessed!