Masturbation at late age

@newrochelle1131 your comment about Desecrate caught my attention! My wife and I have been sexually active all of our 59 year marriage. Up until October 21, 2025 our last love making session. We knew it would be our last at least for some time because the next morning I was scheduled for a prostatectomy! Kind of sad knowing my old penis friend was beginning retirement!
The whole prostatectomy process , while necessary to become cancer free, was a difficult situation both physically and emotionally! I am now 5 months post surgery and have improved but not recovered. It is important to maintain the romance connection in your marriage even when you cannot “close the deal”. I discovered that after some healing I became more “ Horney” than I had been in some time because I got to quit taking finestride for my prostate which inhibits your desire. So before I didn’t have a strong interest in sex but could do it, now I have a strong interest in sex but can’t do it! I discovered that you do not have to be hard nor produce semen to be able to have an orgasm! It’s different, not as intense but it’s good, and the only sexual enjoyment I can have. Now my question as related to being Discreet…. Do other husbands in this post op situation tell their wife about masturbating? I see it as something not to be ashamed of nor embarrassed about but I guess I feel like we boys did in our early days. We know everybody masturbates but we act like no one does! Kinda crazy! I know it kinda of a “taboo” topic but this article opened the can of worms and I’d like to here from other guys in this situation! Also, what should I do for my sweet wife of all these years who suddenly doesn’t have a husband who can have sex with her? Touchy subject but it’s a real situation! Any suggestions or practices that work for you I would like to hear about!

I have no problems telling my wife about my masturbating. In fact, when I am really horny and my wife isn't, she will tell me to go and take care of it myself!
In fact, she even watches me sometimes and will talk dirty to me to get me over the edge.
Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of and at 71 years old, I am proud that I can still do it and still have a great ejaculation.
As for as your wife, you can still have oral sex (which is the only way that my wife can have an orgasm). In fact, as I said in another post, she said that she enjoys sucking on a softer penis more that when it used to be rock hard.

@newrochelle1131 hi, i’m not alone in this house and don’t want to be observed - would kinda kill the mood! I also ‘pick up’ afterwards.

So far i’ve had no questions. Something i’ve surmised is that girls - teens - are pretty sexually experienced. I would expect them to recognize that unique aroma of semen. Everything I use gets trashed, or flushed. If I had some kind of ‘implement’ my concern would be sooner or later it would fall out on the floor unexpectedly or somehow seen and….just rather not have that discussion.

As far as women, sure! No reason not to, but that’s a personal devision.

@olderandwiser i’ve had similar experiences to billy. Not exactly the same but women would understand and weren’t surprised I was doing it. Yep, they often want you to watch and sometimes take care of themselves while watching. Kind of neat. Most of us want sex, this is just one way for guys to have it, it doesn’t have to be only that. Yes on oral sex. In all my sexual life only 1 woman did not want to get oral sex.

@newrochelle1131 your comment about Desecrate caught my attention! My wife and I have been sexually active all of our 59 year marriage. Up until October 21, 2025 our last love making session. We knew it would be our last at least for some time because the next morning I was scheduled for a prostatectomy! Kind of sad knowing my old penis friend was beginning retirement!
The whole prostatectomy process , while necessary to become cancer free, was a difficult situation both physically and emotionally! I am now 5 months post surgery and have improved but not recovered. It is important to maintain the romance connection in your marriage even when you cannot “close the deal”. I discovered that after some healing I became more “ Horney” than I had been in some time because I got to quit taking finestride for my prostate which inhibits your desire. So before I didn’t have a strong interest in sex but could do it, now I have a strong interest in sex but can’t do it! I discovered that you do not have to be hard nor produce semen to be able to have an orgasm! It’s different, not as intense but it’s good, and the only sexual enjoyment I can have. Now my question as related to being Discreet…. Do other husbands in this post op situation tell their wife about masturbating? I see it as something not to be ashamed of nor embarrassed about but I guess I feel like we boys did in our early days. We know everybody masturbates but we act like no one does! Kinda crazy! I know it kinda of a “taboo” topic but this article opened the can of worms and I’d like to here from other guys in this situation! Also, what should I do for my sweet wife of all these years who suddenly doesn’t have a husband who can have sex with her? Touchy subject but it’s a real situation! Any suggestions or practices that work for you I would like to hear about!

Older age is the golden age of masturbation! Our needs and our energy changes as we age we should adjust to the realities of life! Masturbation is an experience we can enjoy for a life time!

@dhabeger thanks for the reply! Our situation seems to break down the barriers we men usually have abut sex talk with each other! I fine it refreshing to be open and honest! I believe you are correct about women and oral sex! When I was dating my wife she was a sweet innocent young thing who wanted to “save herself for marriage”. That didn’t keep me from trying but she held true to that until our wedding night. But as you said most people want to have sex and even she was no exception! We got into heavy petting and one night in the heat of the moment making out I went down on her and to my complete surprise she let me lick her! It was a first for both of us, as I continued I slowly turned to a 69 position and even more surprised when she gave me oral! She had no idea how and I thought she was going to bite it off but I never complained! lol. After that we continued having oral sex and now in our 70’s still do!
Nice to think about our first adventures! I guess I such feel free to talk to her about my secret, after the years of sex we have shared together.

@dhabeger thanks for the reply! Our situation seems to break down the barriers we men usually have abut sex talk with each other! I fine it refreshing to be open and honest! I believe you are correct about women and oral sex! When I was dating my wife she was a sweet innocent young thing who wanted to “save herself for marriage”. That didn’t keep me from trying but she held true to that until our wedding night. But as you said most people want to have sex and even she was no exception! We got into heavy petting and one night in the heat of the moment making out I went down on her and to my complete surprise she let me lick her! It was a first for both of us, as I continued I slowly turned to a 69 position and even more surprised when she gave me oral! She had no idea how and I thought she was going to bite it off but I never complained! lol. After that we continued having oral sex and now in our 70’s still do!
Nice to think about our first adventures! I guess I such feel free to talk to her about my secret, after the years of sex we have shared together.

At near 80 yrs old and having little satisfying sex, even with myself, for the past 35 years because of antidepressants, I am presently slowly replacing Effexor with Mirtazapine in order to maybe experience sexual pleasure again. Wish me luck.