@elainer12 I haven’t walked in your shoes but yes I do. As part of their faith (different from yours) it’s still common for marriages to be arranged.

I don’t know what went wrong in your marriage that you feel so guilty.

Why are your husband’s anger issues your responsibility?

If there’s “blame” or “responsibility” for how so many things turned out (including your children’s struggles) there are surely many causes.

Even marriages entered into with both parties in love can have great difficulties. (My parent’s marriage was one of those and yes it affected my siblings and I. Yet on becoming adults it became our own responsibility to deal with our issues, which we did. I went into therapy and also take medication for anxiety, my brother too went into therapy is a recovering high functioning alcoholic and my sister is very religious).

It’s easy to say “don’t blame yourself” or “forgive yourself” but the question remains “What for?” I’m trying to understand why you carry such a huge burden of guilt on your shoulders and whether it’s all yours to carry.

Hopefully you can work out your part and also make peace with your part. You say you did your best to be a good wife and mother. God wouldn’t ask for more ❤️‍🩹