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SusanEllen66 Susan McMichael avatar

Support Group for Those of Us Living With Mild Dementia

Aging Well | Last Active: 3 days ago | Replies (421)

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Profile picture for GetWellSoon26 @vijay26

I am 75 yrs old and my spouse is 81. He thinks, I have dementia and I think he has dementia.
We both have been forgetting few things on and off.
He will not get tested, as he firmly believes, I am the one w dementia and not him!
Who can help us to get tested and where do we have to start?
I am ready to get tested and diagnosed, for I believe in early Intervention.
Please help direct me and guide me. Thank you.
VJ

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Replies to "I am 75 yrs old and my spouse is 81. He thinks, I have dementia and..."

@vijay26 Take care of yourself first. Share your concerns with your primary physician, then he can perhaps refer you to a neurologist.
Further cognitive testing ,spatial , MRI etc, may be in order.
If other people have mentioned to you concerns about your cognitive abilities, then you should go, if you alone are worried, and others haven’t mentioned it, chances are your ok. Normal aging.
After things have been figured out for you then concentrate on your spouse. Keeping in mind that you can’t force someone into this. It’s not an easy thing to come to grips with.
Good luck to you both and keep us informed. Regards, Ashley

@vijay26
If you belong to AARP, they offer free on line cognitive tests, not as detailed as in-person neurological testing, but enough to give you a baseline and warning if you're seriously challenged.

@vijay26 My husband and I were in the same situation 2 1/2 years ago. I really thought his memory was worse than mine, and he thought the opposite. I finally said, If I get tested, will you? So we both got tested & had MRIs. Then they said they’d need to do PT scans, which I did & my husband refused to do. The upshot was my diagnosis with MCI, not Alzheimer’s. He was supposed to get retested in a year or two, but he won’t go.

Right now, he drives me to all my follow-ups, which are an hour away. I’m really worried about what will happen if neither of us can drive, deal with money matters, etc. We did give our daughter Power of Attorney, but she lives 4 hours away, plus I can’t see my husband giving up the reins.

We’re on a wait list for a continuum of care place closer to her, but that would involve moving & finding all new doctors (overwhelming), plus he keeps fixing up the house to age in place. He’s doing much better than I am, physically.

I’ve got heart problems, so maybe I won’t be around, so maybe I should stop worrying about it all…?