I have read and processed all of the responses and I am so grateful for the kind words, great advice and the sharing of your own experience.

I have worked hard for the past few weeks in controlling our environment 100% of the time; failing at times, but remaining persistent.

He is confident enough to know that when I did have my last meltdown he needed to be more patient as well.

Sometimes that works, but really what works is me being in control of myself and our environment. I only give him one topic at a time; I am making notes and hiding them on my desk; when things are calm and smoothe, I will bring up the subject of a note and make sure we have handled whatever it is, in its entirety, before bringing up another issue or task.

It’s working for now.

We nearly had an incident the other day when his daughter called me on my phone, because he was not answering his, to tell me the expected passing of her sister from cancer had occurred. My husband was making his breakfast, so i just continued listening to her through her sobs… I was so frightened.

I should have hung up and prepared him for the call, but instead when he was settled down to eat, I said, “your daughter is on the phone, she needs to speak with you.”

She needed him. She doesn’t understand, as most people don’t unless and until they live through what we are all going through.

I could hear him showtiming.. he told her he had just talked to her a couple of weeks ago (he texted her 3 months on Xmas day and said “Merry Christmas”) and she had said to him that she was fine, doing great. ( they haven’t texted about her health in a long time).

He knew to say he was sorry and I feared the aftermath. However, he seems to have put this in another part of his brain. Not one tear for a daughter?

I have never met her, as we lived on opposite coasts, I knew her through texting and phone calls. He hasn’t asked about their young children either.

I guess I am experiencing grief for all of them, including him.

Apathy?

It’s interesting how this has turned into “does he have dementia?” to “is he understanding what’s happening?” or”why did he say or do that?”