@rollingf

What is the American obsession with attempting to control what other people do with their bodies? We should each just mind our own business.

@rollingf
A few weeks ago a friend ended her life by VSED (Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking).
Over 10 years ago she was diagnosed with MCI. Being a very proactive person she researched retirement communities and found one on the opposite side of the country where she thought she could be happy. She hired life management consultants to reduce her possessions and assist in the move. She also told me at that time that she was researching ways to end her life before her cognitive abilities were too far gone.
After 5 years in her new home she wrote that she was surprised at how well she was doing. She had a very busy bucket list and was enjoying many adventures and creative endeavors. At some point she decided that 2025 would be her last year. We didn't talk about it, but photos showed that she was not doing so well.
Then in February she sent notes to friends telling us that she would begin VSED on February 15th. Her body was very weary, and it took just over 4 days for her to pass.
Because of this my wife found a book _Herself to the End_ by Fran Volkmann. It is the story of her partner Joan who, knowing that her Alzheimers was advancing, decided to end her life by VSED because she lived in a state where MAID is not available. It also shares about the experiences of Joan's friends as they spent her last days with her.
I was very touched by Joan's understanding that she was not committing suicide. She had a disease which was progressively destroying her Self, her ability to be the person she had been all of her life. She did not want that to happen, and VSED was the only way she could prevent it.
< https://www.amazon.com/Herself-End-Alzheimers-courageous-Voluntarily/dp/B0G38DX92P/ref=sr_1_1;

@rollingf
I understand that Voluntary Assisted Death is a controversial issue. In Australia it is legal, but it is very much an intimate, personal choice. My university- days boyfriend, Allan, battled melanoma on his brain for months, and had several neurosurgeries to try to remove the cancer and a large blood clot on his brain. He never regained consciousness. His loving wife and children took him home, told that he would never recover brain function because of the damage done. He remained in a coma, unconscious for THREE MONTHS. His wife was by his side 24/7, trying to feed him through a tube, and changing his diapers. He had to be turned on his side in the bed every two hours, to avoid bed sores, so someone had to be in attendance on him constantly. In Australia we also have available what we call an Advanced Care Directive, just like a kind of will. It is a legally binding document which many people sign while they are young and healthy, listing the circumstances under which they would want to
withdraw medical treatment (such as ventilators or even CPR). I have signed an Advanced Care Directive, stating that if there is no chance of me recovering quality of life (which I spelt out in detail) I do not want to be put on a ventilator or maintained in an indefinite coma just because my body is "alive". I know various cultures have religious objections to these kinds of arrangements, and I believe it is ultimately a very difficult and personal choice. I know what the end stage of ALS looks like. I know my fate is to deteriorate like that. But I don't want to be unable to swallow or talk, paralyzed and unable to breathe: at some stage I want to say "this is enough, I can't cope like this any more, and I don't want my family to have to care for me for months while I am a vegetable in bed." In Australia I have the option of choosing the way I die, in peace, and that is what I want to do. I know that this is a very controversial and upsetting kind of discussion to have, and I thoroughly respect people who choose to live through the worst and put up with agony, but I believe we should have a CHOICE which patients and their families agree on so that everyone can die with dignity. No-one is going to force withdrawel of medical treatment or assisted death on anyone - to me it is a matter of individual choice, and I am glad that now all Australian states support this legistation. I know I will stir up a hornet's nest with this post, but that is how I feel, I who only have an average of 26 months to live.