In February I will be marking my third anniversary of RALP surgery, my second anniversary of inguinal hernia repair, and my first anniversary of having a Boston Scientific Male Urinary sling implanted, all thanks to Prostate cancer. While my PSA has remained at very low levels, I obviously have had some negative side effects too. My RALP surgeon denied causing the hernia, but if you research on this site, you will find many men got a hernia after their surgeries too. The sling was to remedy stress incontinence, and it has worked well so far. The last two side effects are a shorter penis and impotence. When they reconnect after removing your prostate-size length of urethra, the doctor has two choices; pull the penis towards the bladder or vice versa. I think my shorter length is a compromise of those two. As for the impotence, my nerve sparing surgery didn't spare the nerves and now any erections are self-induced with my VED or Trimix shots. Orgasms are dry and very challenging to achieve. Mentally, I am happy with being cancer free (so far) but the rest of it does take its toll.
@tomf Thanks for sharing Tom. I'm 6 mos post RARP and getting better every day. Like you it takes it's toll but I am mentally relieved to being cancer free and being satisfied that I"m being proactive as much as possible without choosing to be stressed or overwhelmed. My urologist has been factual and presented me with options. Post surgery PSA is .04. I will take that and appreciate live a day at a time moving forward. Many years ago my late dad once told me :
"Worrying is what you do when you need to make a decision about something and you choose to have NO INTENTION of making a decision" Get the best advice you can!
@ruralgal76
I agree 100% . I love my husband so much and could not even imagine putting any pressure or doubt of any kind about that in his mind even though I am 8 years younger. If his ED recovers - great, if not - who cares !? Having him by my side and seeing his smile every morning is all that I need for my happiness : ). < 3 We had amazing sex life and now it will be perhaps less amazing or absent - life is such , boooo-hooo XP, lol. He is alive and well and that is all that matters. Besides 70%- 75% of men age 70 have ED just due to aging ( 60% of 60 years old) , and I do not think that 60 - 75% of wises cheat on theirs husbands for that reason !? Sex is just one of MANY parts of a relationship and with true love that "part" is never a deal-breaker. Whoever tells you otherwise never truly loved another person ...
So well said.. I read your comment aloud to my husband and I know it made him feel better: ❤️🩹 he’s feeling low at this time and we’re still trying out all the therapy ideas… so far nothing has changed.. we won’t give up.. thanks again for sharing!! You did him and I “wonders” with your wise words..!😊
Hello,
New here. I honestly am an anomaly, and really don't have many resources for my situation.
I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer in the Summer of 2025. On a yearly exam, my PSA had jumped the minimum that would require further investigation. Still relatively low with the jump from 1.7 to 2.4. I opted to have an MRI. That came back clean. Upon urging from Urologist to “make double sure” I had a TRUS Biopsy. I was reluctant to have a TRUS but was finally talked into it. My reluctance proved out and I became Septic. While recuperating from the Sepsis, my biopsy came back positive with a Gleason 7. It showed 4 tumors all with substantial cores, with 4 other areas suspected of cancer and Perineural Invasion. I turned 60 during this time. I also had a PET Scan which showed localized cancer within the prostate and nowhere else! (See footnote why) Meanwhile I was still very sick from the biopsy and had also had recurring UTI’s (which I never had before) I opted to look into all my options and dove completely into this cancer diagnosis! I had 4 separate opinions and all suggested or veered me toward a RARP. Many friends told me to look into the Seeds, and other things, and I did. However, most doctors were suggesting surgery, because “once you radiate or seed it is not possible to go back and have a prostatectomy.” So in November 2025 I had the total prostatectomy. It is important to add that I opted to have surgery at a totally different facility than where I was diagnosed.
I waited from 11/11/25 until 12/18/2025 for my Pathology on my prostate. This was extra extra long to wait for pathology so I feared the worse!
This is all where I become the “Orphan of The Group!”
I was finally told that no cancer was found in my prostate nor any trace of ever having cancer in my prostate!
Upon further investigation, my biopsy slides did not match my DNA. So I never had prostate cancer, and apparently my slides got mixed up with someone who does or did! So someone got my “clean” diagnosis” and I got their “Cancer” diagnosis!
So, here I sit in severe depression, suffering the very same side effects of a canceled prostatectomy!
I am suffering terrible anxiety and depression, along with so many other things! As of this writing (4 mos post) I am still incontinent and have full on ED. I am suffering from nightmares, and insomnia at different times.
I find myself “zoning out” and thinking it all surreal. Having to remind myself I don’t or never did have cancer! Most people try to help me by saying, “Look on the bright side, at least you don’t have cancer!’ This saying makes me want to vomit anymore!
I honestly wanted to reach out. Apparently it is not standard protocol to do a whole different set of biopsy’s. In my case, they couldn’t anyway because my prostate was so butchered up from the botched initial biopsy.
I want to also warn people to check out doctors and facilities within their state. Most states have a “Physicians Review Board” run by their respective state. These “Boards” are open so that you can research doctors and facilities on violations or even lack of!
PS. The Pet Scan lit up because my prostate was encrusted with infection from the horrible TRUS Botched Biopsy. Apparently cancer and infection will light up identical!
PSS. Stay away from Trans Rectal Biopsy’s and go the extra mile and get the biopsy that goes through the perineum!
I'm 6 weeks post-op RARP. I was told by 9 different doctors that they recommended RARP over radiation at my age (54) because the side effects of radiation might impact me before the end of my natural life. I have no regrets, I'm fully continent and no ED. That's not everyone's history with RARP, but it is mine. With a couple months to prepare, you could start working your pelvic floor and core muscles to better improve your recovery and even prevention of both incontinence and ED.
Radiation has some appeal, as do alternative treatments, because the side effects are often less, but you never know the true scope of your cancer until they remove it and analyze it.
If you haven't talked to multiple doctors, you should do so now. Nobody here is qualified to tell you which path you should take, but your doctors absolutely are. The best we can do is tell you how it went for us - and remember that most of the people here, me excluded, are here because they either are new and have questions - like yourself - or they continue to have issues. The success stories have no reason to stick around, but there are plenty of RARP success stories out there, I had a hell of a time finding them because they don't participate in these types of forums anymore so I'm trying to stick around to sprinkle some good news over all the bad that comes with this terrible disease.
@survivor5280
Glad to hear you are doing so well. I cannot urge enough to get multiple opinions, (like you suggested). Also, please check out doctors before going with anyone! This includes ANY doctor or facility! Most states have a ‘Physicians Review Board” that basically “polices” the doctors! Please look and see your doctors “Track” record. You just might be surprised! I sure was!
On Biopsy’s, I urge those that can, stay away from the TRUS Method. There are far better methods out now that are not as dangerous and invasion far more accurate!
☮️ Dingus
Hello,
New here. I honestly am an anomaly, and really don't have many resources for my situation.
I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer in the Summer of 2025. On a yearly exam, my PSA had jumped the minimum that would require further investigation. Still relatively low with the jump from 1.7 to 2.4. I opted to have an MRI. That came back clean. Upon urging from Urologist to “make double sure” I had a TRUS Biopsy. I was reluctant to have a TRUS but was finally talked into it. My reluctance proved out and I became Septic. While recuperating from the Sepsis, my biopsy came back positive with a Gleason 7. It showed 4 tumors all with substantial cores, with 4 other areas suspected of cancer and Perineural Invasion. I turned 60 during this time. I also had a PET Scan which showed localized cancer within the prostate and nowhere else! (See footnote why) Meanwhile I was still very sick from the biopsy and had also had recurring UTI’s (which I never had before) I opted to look into all my options and dove completely into this cancer diagnosis! I had 4 separate opinions and all suggested or veered me toward a RARP. Many friends told me to look into the Seeds, and other things, and I did. However, most doctors were suggesting surgery, because “once you radiate or seed it is not possible to go back and have a prostatectomy.” So in November 2025 I had the total prostatectomy. It is important to add that I opted to have surgery at a totally different facility than where I was diagnosed.
I waited from 11/11/25 until 12/18/2025 for my Pathology on my prostate. This was extra extra long to wait for pathology so I feared the worse!
This is all where I become the “Orphan of The Group!”
I was finally told that no cancer was found in my prostate nor any trace of ever having cancer in my prostate!
Upon further investigation, my biopsy slides did not match my DNA. So I never had prostate cancer, and apparently my slides got mixed up with someone who does or did! So someone got my “clean” diagnosis” and I got their “Cancer” diagnosis!
So, here I sit in severe depression, suffering the very same side effects of a canceled prostatectomy!
I am suffering terrible anxiety and depression, along with so many other things! As of this writing (4 mos post) I am still incontinent and have full on ED. I am suffering from nightmares, and insomnia at different times.
I find myself “zoning out” and thinking it all surreal. Having to remind myself I don’t or never did have cancer! Most people try to help me by saying, “Look on the bright side, at least you don’t have cancer!’ This saying makes me want to vomit anymore!
I honestly wanted to reach out. Apparently it is not standard protocol to do a whole different set of biopsy’s. In my case, they couldn’t anyway because my prostate was so butchered up from the botched initial biopsy.
I want to also warn people to check out doctors and facilities within their state. Most states have a “Physicians Review Board” run by their respective state. These “Boards” are open so that you can research doctors and facilities on violations or even lack of!
PS. The Pet Scan lit up because my prostate was encrusted with infection from the horrible TRUS Botched Biopsy. Apparently cancer and infection will light up identical!
PSS. Stay away from Trans Rectal Biopsy’s and go the extra mile and get the biopsy that goes through the perineum!
I am sooooo sorry that you had to go through one horror after another and for NO reason - this is clear case of medical malpractice and you should keep all of that documentation in safe place.
Print out all findings and all records before they "magically" disappear !!! You should lawyer-up ASAP and ask hospital to pay for damages - both physical and emotional !
I know that no money in this world can return you your perfectly healthy gland and normal life at this point but at least you will have money to pay for all kinds of therapies that you might need, as well as for canceling, and possibly another surgery to correct incontinence and ED.
Oh my, I thought I heard it all by now : ((((
I am truly sorry that you have to suffer due to somebody else's utter incompetence !!!
Did they ever notify that other poor person that he actually HAS cancer ???
I am shocked ... to say the least : ((((
Please don't just "sit and suffer" as you say : (((( - fight for compensation ( it should be in millions) and work on full recovery with top notch doctors in all fields that are needed and you will pull yourself up and will resolve your issues < 3 . It is possible to achieve !!! You just need a good team of doctors !
I am sooooo sorry that you had to go through one horror after another and for NO reason - this is clear case of medical malpractice and you should keep all of that documentation in safe place.
Print out all findings and all records before they "magically" disappear !!! You should lawyer-up ASAP and ask hospital to pay for damages - both physical and emotional !
I know that no money in this world can return you your perfectly healthy gland and normal life at this point but at least you will have money to pay for all kinds of therapies that you might need, as well as for canceling, and possibly another surgery to correct incontinence and ED.
Oh my, I thought I heard it all by now : ((((
I am truly sorry that you have to suffer due to somebody else's utter incompetence !!!
Did they ever notify that other poor person that he actually HAS cancer ???
I am shocked ... to say the least : ((((
Please don't just "sit and suffer" as you say : (((( - fight for compensation ( it should be in millions) and work on full recovery with top notch doctors in all fields that are needed and you will pull yourself up and will resolve your issues < 3 . It is possible to achieve !!! You just need a good team of doctors !
@surftohealth88 I truly appreciate your words of encouragement and sincerity. I am finding extremely hard to find therapy that is specific for my situation. I know I need someone in “Trauma” or perhaps PTSD. Many of those are veteran geared. The others are 99% female. I have absolutely nothing against females in the profession but I have intimate “Man” things to talk about. Many therapists are fairly young females and of those that specialize have geared themselves for sexual abuse. It is a real conundrum. I have so many feelings it is incredibly surreal. I even feel guilty posting on here. Although I am going through everything others are that HAVE cancer…..Im not a cancer survivor! It is just so messed up! My mind is twisted, my anxiety keeps my heart rate pounding and then my depression keeps me from functioning at all.
Thank you again for reaching out!
☮️ Dingus
@surftohealth88 I truly appreciate your words of encouragement and sincerity. I am finding extremely hard to find therapy that is specific for my situation. I know I need someone in “Trauma” or perhaps PTSD. Many of those are veteran geared. The others are 99% female. I have absolutely nothing against females in the profession but I have intimate “Man” things to talk about. Many therapists are fairly young females and of those that specialize have geared themselves for sexual abuse. It is a real conundrum. I have so many feelings it is incredibly surreal. I even feel guilty posting on here. Although I am going through everything others are that HAVE cancer…..Im not a cancer survivor! It is just so messed up! My mind is twisted, my anxiety keeps my heart rate pounding and then my depression keeps me from functioning at all.
Thank you again for reaching out!
☮️ Dingus
@dingus1
I completely understand your pain and there is no reason for you to feel guilty for being here and I am 100% sure that nobody in this community would judge you in any way ! You went through cancer scare and cancer treatment and had the same experience as somebody who really had a cancer. On top of that you are now with PTSD and anxiety and probably even feel violated in many ways :(.
Since you are in so much emotional pain, I think that removing the edge of all those emotions could be the first step in your recovery and you might consider taking some mild anti depressant or anti anxiety medication that your GP can prescribe. That way you will possibly be able to collect your thoughts, have better sleep and better concentration and than could make further plans for future steps necessary for healing.
There are many sex health therapists around that are male , you just need some time to find what you are looking for. I understand that you might feel more comfortable with a male doctors when sexual health is in question, but PTSD is PTSD , and anxiety is anxiety no matter what is causing it and the methods and medications for those are the same for both male and female patients.
Try also to be patient and gentle with yourself, your trauma is fresh and even surgery was pretty recent : ((( , so take small steps and little by little you will heal both physically and psychologically. You are already making big steps toward recovery because you are actively seeking help and looking for a therapist - that is a BIG achievement in itself. Don't forget that passage of time provides healing too !
All in all, you have been through a lot but healing is possible and it WILL happen < 3.
@surftohealth88 I truly appreciate your words of encouragement and sincerity. I am finding extremely hard to find therapy that is specific for my situation. I know I need someone in “Trauma” or perhaps PTSD. Many of those are veteran geared. The others are 99% female. I have absolutely nothing against females in the profession but I have intimate “Man” things to talk about. Many therapists are fairly young females and of those that specialize have geared themselves for sexual abuse. It is a real conundrum. I have so many feelings it is incredibly surreal. I even feel guilty posting on here. Although I am going through everything others are that HAVE cancer…..Im not a cancer survivor! It is just so messed up! My mind is twisted, my anxiety keeps my heart rate pounding and then my depression keeps me from functioning at all.
Thank you again for reaching out!
☮️ Dingus
@dingus1 so sorry for you having to suffer the after effects of a prostatectomy after never having cancer! I agree you should get legal advice for the very real reason that a mistake like this should never happen and when it does some one needs to pay to insure it never happens again!
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@tomf Thanks for sharing Tom. I'm 6 mos post RARP and getting better every day. Like you it takes it's toll but I am mentally relieved to being cancer free and being satisfied that I"m being proactive as much as possible without choosing to be stressed or overwhelmed. My urologist has been factual and presented me with options. Post surgery PSA is .04. I will take that and appreciate live a day at a time moving forward. Many years ago my late dad once told me :
"Worrying is what you do when you need to make a decision about something and you choose to have NO INTENTION of making a decision" Get the best advice you can!
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1 ReactionMy husband had prostrate surgery last June and still no errection.. love 💕 conquers all.. hang in there!!
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4 Reactions@ruralgal76
I agree 100% . I love my husband so much and could not even imagine putting any pressure or doubt of any kind about that in his mind even though I am 8 years younger. If his ED recovers - great, if not - who cares !? Having him by my side and seeing his smile every morning is all that I need for my happiness : ). < 3 We had amazing sex life and now it will be perhaps less amazing or absent - life is such , boooo-hooo XP, lol. He is alive and well and that is all that matters. Besides 70%- 75% of men age 70 have ED just due to aging ( 60% of 60 years old) , and I do not think that 60 - 75% of wises cheat on theirs husbands for that reason !? Sex is just one of MANY parts of a relationship and with true love that "part" is never a deal-breaker. Whoever tells you otherwise never truly loved another person ...
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Helpful -
Hug
5 ReactionsSo well said.. I read your comment aloud to my husband and I know it made him feel better: ❤️🩹 he’s feeling low at this time and we’re still trying out all the therapy ideas… so far nothing has changed.. we won’t give up.. thanks again for sharing!! You did him and I “wonders” with your wise words..!😊
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
5 ReactionsHello,
New here. I honestly am an anomaly, and really don't have many resources for my situation.
I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer in the Summer of 2025. On a yearly exam, my PSA had jumped the minimum that would require further investigation. Still relatively low with the jump from 1.7 to 2.4. I opted to have an MRI. That came back clean. Upon urging from Urologist to “make double sure” I had a TRUS Biopsy. I was reluctant to have a TRUS but was finally talked into it. My reluctance proved out and I became Septic. While recuperating from the Sepsis, my biopsy came back positive with a Gleason 7. It showed 4 tumors all with substantial cores, with 4 other areas suspected of cancer and Perineural Invasion. I turned 60 during this time. I also had a PET Scan which showed localized cancer within the prostate and nowhere else! (See footnote why) Meanwhile I was still very sick from the biopsy and had also had recurring UTI’s (which I never had before) I opted to look into all my options and dove completely into this cancer diagnosis! I had 4 separate opinions and all suggested or veered me toward a RARP. Many friends told me to look into the Seeds, and other things, and I did. However, most doctors were suggesting surgery, because “once you radiate or seed it is not possible to go back and have a prostatectomy.” So in November 2025 I had the total prostatectomy. It is important to add that I opted to have surgery at a totally different facility than where I was diagnosed.
I waited from 11/11/25 until 12/18/2025 for my Pathology on my prostate. This was extra extra long to wait for pathology so I feared the worse!
This is all where I become the “Orphan of The Group!”
I was finally told that no cancer was found in my prostate nor any trace of ever having cancer in my prostate!
Upon further investigation, my biopsy slides did not match my DNA. So I never had prostate cancer, and apparently my slides got mixed up with someone who does or did! So someone got my “clean” diagnosis” and I got their “Cancer” diagnosis!
So, here I sit in severe depression, suffering the very same side effects of a canceled prostatectomy!
I am suffering terrible anxiety and depression, along with so many other things! As of this writing (4 mos post) I am still incontinent and have full on ED. I am suffering from nightmares, and insomnia at different times.
I find myself “zoning out” and thinking it all surreal. Having to remind myself I don’t or never did have cancer! Most people try to help me by saying, “Look on the bright side, at least you don’t have cancer!’ This saying makes me want to vomit anymore!
I honestly wanted to reach out. Apparently it is not standard protocol to do a whole different set of biopsy’s. In my case, they couldn’t anyway because my prostate was so butchered up from the botched initial biopsy.
I want to also warn people to check out doctors and facilities within their state. Most states have a “Physicians Review Board” run by their respective state. These “Boards” are open so that you can research doctors and facilities on violations or even lack of!
PS. The Pet Scan lit up because my prostate was encrusted with infection from the horrible TRUS Botched Biopsy. Apparently cancer and infection will light up identical!
PSS. Stay away from Trans Rectal Biopsy’s and go the extra mile and get the biopsy that goes through the perineum!
☮️ Dingus
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 Reactions@survivor5280
Glad to hear you are doing so well. I cannot urge enough to get multiple opinions, (like you suggested). Also, please check out doctors before going with anyone! This includes ANY doctor or facility! Most states have a ‘Physicians Review Board” that basically “polices” the doctors! Please look and see your doctors “Track” record. You just might be surprised! I sure was!
On Biopsy’s, I urge those that can, stay away from the TRUS Method. There are far better methods out now that are not as dangerous and invasion far more accurate!
☮️ Dingus
@dingus1
I am sooooo sorry that you had to go through one horror after another and for NO reason - this is clear case of medical malpractice and you should keep all of that documentation in safe place.
Print out all findings and all records before they "magically" disappear !!! You should lawyer-up ASAP and ask hospital to pay for damages - both physical and emotional !
I know that no money in this world can return you your perfectly healthy gland and normal life at this point but at least you will have money to pay for all kinds of therapies that you might need, as well as for canceling, and possibly another surgery to correct incontinence and ED.
Oh my, I thought I heard it all by now : ((((
I am truly sorry that you have to suffer due to somebody else's utter incompetence !!!
Did they ever notify that other poor person that he actually HAS cancer ???
I am shocked ... to say the least : ((((
Please don't just "sit and suffer" as you say : (((( - fight for compensation ( it should be in millions) and work on full recovery with top notch doctors in all fields that are needed and you will pull yourself up and will resolve your issues < 3 . It is possible to achieve !!! You just need a good team of doctors !
@surftohealth88 I truly appreciate your words of encouragement and sincerity. I am finding extremely hard to find therapy that is specific for my situation. I know I need someone in “Trauma” or perhaps PTSD. Many of those are veteran geared. The others are 99% female. I have absolutely nothing against females in the profession but I have intimate “Man” things to talk about. Many therapists are fairly young females and of those that specialize have geared themselves for sexual abuse. It is a real conundrum. I have so many feelings it is incredibly surreal. I even feel guilty posting on here. Although I am going through everything others are that HAVE cancer…..Im not a cancer survivor! It is just so messed up! My mind is twisted, my anxiety keeps my heart rate pounding and then my depression keeps me from functioning at all.
Thank you again for reaching out!
☮️ Dingus
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Helpful -
Hug
2 Reactions@dingus1
I completely understand your pain and there is no reason for you to feel guilty for being here and I am 100% sure that nobody in this community would judge you in any way ! You went through cancer scare and cancer treatment and had the same experience as somebody who really had a cancer. On top of that you are now with PTSD and anxiety and probably even feel violated in many ways :(.
Since you are in so much emotional pain, I think that removing the edge of all those emotions could be the first step in your recovery and you might consider taking some mild anti depressant or anti anxiety medication that your GP can prescribe. That way you will possibly be able to collect your thoughts, have better sleep and better concentration and than could make further plans for future steps necessary for healing.
There are many sex health therapists around that are male , you just need some time to find what you are looking for. I understand that you might feel more comfortable with a male doctors when sexual health is in question, but PTSD is PTSD , and anxiety is anxiety no matter what is causing it and the methods and medications for those are the same for both male and female patients.
Try also to be patient and gentle with yourself, your trauma is fresh and even surgery was pretty recent : ((( , so take small steps and little by little you will heal both physically and psychologically. You are already making big steps toward recovery because you are actively seeking help and looking for a therapist - that is a BIG achievement in itself. Don't forget that passage of time provides healing too !
All in all, you have been through a lot but healing is possible and it WILL happen < 3.
@dingus1 so sorry for you having to suffer the after effects of a prostatectomy after never having cancer! I agree you should get legal advice for the very real reason that a mistake like this should never happen and when it does some one needs to pay to insure it never happens again!