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How did you find the strength to keep going? I feel like I am loosing it but I can't because of the kids. I am trying to keep it all as normal as possible but it is getting so har
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Wonderful to read your posts!
@casseth02 Am so sorry you are experiencing this and your husband is dying.
The kids are teens. This isn't "normal". You and the kids are going through a "new normal" that is temporary, and then when your spouse passes you all will yet again have to adjust to another "new" normal.
It appears you are expecting a lot of yourself because of the kids. As Scott put it so well: you are not Superwoman.
Am sure the hospice social workers, et al, can recommend a grief counseling source for all of you. OR you may be able to find a church who offers such for you all, in separate groups or counselors.
You sound like a really good Mom, but we cannot protect our children from the hard facts of life, please give yourself a break.
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Hi again @casseth02 Thanks for your response and question. Forgive me for my bluntness, but you, as I was, are in a new living system, which is not 'normal' in any sense of the word. Topsy-turvy perhaps -- crazy maybe -- a house of cards certainly --funny at times then intensely sad, but never 'normal'.
I got by using the AA mantra of 'one day at a time'. I often wondered if I could find the strength to answer the bell in the morning, but believed I certainly could finish the one day I was in. This helped me then stare down the next day as best I could.
I also believe deeply Love is an incredible emotion and it can power the best and the least of us far more than we ever think it can. In my case I know it was only love that got me through a day for my wife and our children more than once.
Please remember Superman and Superwoman are only in the comics, so a caregiver can only do their daily best. Each day the definition of 'best' can change.
I often came up short in my caregiving efforts so I kept an old pillow on our sofa, which many nights received my wrath as I punched it for an outlet. One night when I was especially angry with myself I tore a hole in it and found myself exhausted, but spending over three hours picking feathers off everthing in sight! So a word to the wise --if you do this use a foam pillow 🙂
Be kind to yourself!
My best strength to you.