@retiredteacher I know how you feel as I've been through what you're experiencing. I've had diabetes for 14 years now. I even had bariatric surgery 3 years ago in an effort to get rid of my diabetes --it didn't work. However, I now take far less insulin than ever before. I couldn't take metformin because it made me sick. Since my mom died from pancreatic cancer at the age of 78, I didn't want to take medication that stimulated my pancreas, so I went on insulin about 10 years ago. I have had good and bad luck with it.

I did discover that everything I eat raises my blood sugar at 2-3 hours after eating. That's normal for everyone even if you don't have diabetes. The difference is that our blood sugar rises much higher in diabetes than normal. I discovered over the years that ANY carbohydrates I eat make my blood sugar spike high. I limit my carbohydrates to no more than 15 grams each meal or snack. For snacks I try to only eat nuts, fresh fruit (primarily strawberries, blueberries, or other fresh fruit) and have 1 cup or 15 grams only. My favorite snack is 1/2cup of 4% cottage cheese with 1/2cup of strawberries/blueberries, and 1 packet of Splenda. I try to have a protein and fat with each snack if it includes carbohydrates. I have found that Nature Valley Almond Nut Crunch bars make an almost perfect snack for me. For meals I eat 3-4 oz of protein, and 4 oz of carbs (vegies with pasta or potatoes, rice or quinoa. I also only eat 1 to 1 1/2 cups of food at each meal due to my RnY bariatric surgery. I have lost 80 pounds due to the surgery, and I have maintained that loss.

Don't give up! You are making a major life change to a lifestyle that you spent many your entire life developing. Why would you only give yourself a year to change those ways of life? I have found that being more gentle with myself and having more reasonable expectations of what I actually control helped me as I accepted this new life. Yes, it can be frustrating when things don't seem to work or you are surprised by sudden spikes, or not losing weight. However, I learned to let go of those times and continue with my eyes on the prize, which for me is an A1c level of 6.5. My A1c runs high consistently at 7.2 or 7.4, with an occasional 8.6 when changing medications. Also, I'm 68 years old now and my doctor says A1c levels rise naturally as we age. So far I'm lucky that I haven't had complications from my diabetes.

You will learn to live within the limitations of the disease, but it takes time. Actually, it forced me to live a much healthier life. I really don't like candy bars or anything that is overly sweet anymore. I prefer fresh fruit when i want something sweet. I don't drink any soda pop or carbonated beverages. I only drink water, coffee, or tea. Occasionally I will drink 8 oz of my grandson's sugar free kool aid with ice. I feel MUCH better than I did before I knew I had diabetes. Now, if I'm groggy I know it's because I've had too many carbohydrates and I need to check my glucose levels and go for a walk if they are high, but not over 230. If I'm shakey and sweaty and feel a need to pee, my blood sugar is too low and I need to check it and then eat a 15 gr snack every 15 minutes until I am at 105 to 120 readings on my meter. My tendency was to eat too much sweet stuff when my sugar was low, and then i was on a roller coaster ride all day. I no longer do that as I've learned that I'm not going to die from low blood sugar that I am aware of as long as I can raise it reasonably.

I hope my experience with diabetes is helpful for you. It really only restricts your eating habits. You can live a full and joyful life with it. It will teach you the first of many lessons of learning to let go of feeling in control of everything. Even though you have a lot of control, you're not in complete control of anything. As you age, the letting go continues, and it can be hard to do. But, each thing you can let go frees your energy for new adventures in life.