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I have no desire to live at all, yet I'm too afraid to die. I instinctively fear anything that threatens my life. I'm addicted to self-harm, but after three failed suicide attempts, I now can't even bring myself to touch a blade... I only use blunt or semi-blunt scissors to feel the pain without having to see blood— (Seeing blood would make me stop self-harming).
Replies to "I have no desire to live at all, yet I'm too afraid to die. I instinctively..."
@xine thank you for sharing what you are going through. It sounds like you are having a really tough go of things.
Is there any way that you can reduce your self harm just a little bit? Maybe put your scissors in a box on a high shelf? I’m hopeful that if you can go bit by bit, you will be less burdened by these urges.
I have similar urges and the periods of SH come and go. I try not to be too hard on myself, and focus just on the next small step in front of me.
Good luck and please let us know what works for you, even if just a little bit. Wishing you the best.
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@xine, hi again. I just wrote a reply to the other post you made today here: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/comment/1523991/
I'm not a therapist, so I hope my comments aren't off the mark. Sometimes it is hard to say the right things. Please accept my attempt.
I'll start by saying the "moderator" thing. You don't have to deal with this alone. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline https://988lifeline.org/get-help/, available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Can you tell me what triggers you to want to self-harm? Are there things you do to avoid those triggers? (Sorry if those are dumb questions.)