I understand. Can you ask your doctor about propranolol? It really helps with the cortisol level and anxiety. I have seen a therapist for several years now, since I got sober. I try to do breathing exercises. I am so sorry that you are having nausea and shaking. Are you able to go and walk? I used to run but can't now due to some health issues. Exercise helped me just get the stress the hell out of me. I also listen to sleep meditations at night. I applaud your strength and resilience in working on the trauma. It is not easy. It is definitely a journey but staying in the present (which is hard for me) does help when I remember that today is it. I hope your doctor will help the physical symptoms your are experiencing.