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Trying To Get My Nerves Settled: Tonight's Thoughts

Posted by srobinet @srobinet, Feb 13 11:00pm

Just my thoughts tonight.

I am scheduled for a Bilateral Mastectomy on 3/10/26. I got a call today offering to move my surgery date to 2/26/26 due to a cancelation. It was instant anxiety/nerves on my part and almost denial because that would only be 13 days out . I was not able to accept the new date because of family that have requested time off already to help me the day of surgery and afterwards.

I thought I was ready to do this but I guess my brain/emotions are not quite there yet. I will of course be doing the surgery as scheduled but it is a scary/anxious unsettling feeling. I've had surgeries before 2 knee replacements/gallbladder/c-sections. Those were quick maybe 1.5-2 hr at most. This surgery will take about 4 hours or a little longer. It just has me more anxious and I suppose it may be because I am losing part of me and I will never be the same. Has anyone else felt this way ?

I have always worked and took care of my family. I truly don't have but maybe 1 or 2 friends and my family. I always talked to my co-workers during the day and got along well but we never did things together after work. I worked with some of these people for 15 years and even after I told a couple of them what was going on with me they have not reached back out. I now work from home so I no longer see them. It is hurtful because as I mentioned I saw these people more than I did my own family. Am I being silly to feel this way?

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buckokey | @buckokey | Mar 2 10:46pm

Oh that must have been disappointing but hopefully you’re on the road to full recovery. All the best to you!

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srobinet | @srobinet | Mar 3 10:58pm
In reply to @buckokey "@wews We are all human and how we react is as different—and yet similar—for each of..." + (show)
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@wews
We are all human and how we react is as different—and yet similar—for each of us! I’ve been dealing with all this for over two years as I was first told “nothing to worry about” 1-1/2 years ago. But last February my OB appointment turned into the help that was needed. Finally was examined and another ultrasound where I was immediately told I have ILC, then a phone call saying I would need mastectomy. PANIC—followed by new oncologist surgeon who put me on AI to reduce tumor after 9 more months. Lots of hills and valleys emotionally and most “friends” seemed to disappear from my radar, too. At 79 I’m facing surgery on 3/26. I’m not looking forward to it and have plan on talking to my surgeon to do mastectomy rather than the Lumpectomy originally planned as I don’t want to be told not enough margin removed from tumor and have to redo a second time. Let us know how you get along post surgery and keep confident knowing you have the support of “new friends” here. All the best.

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@buckokey I will give an update after my surgery when I get the pathology back. My surgery is 3/10/26. I hope that your surgery goes well and that you heal quickly. I didn't want to do any of this a second time either and family history that's why I chose the Bilateral Mastectomy.

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buckokey | @buckokey | Mar 4 10:46am
In reply to @srobinet "@buckokey I will give an update after my surgery when I get the pathology back. My..." + (show)
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@buckokey I will give an update after my surgery when I get the pathology back. My surgery is 3/10/26. I hope that your surgery goes well and that you heal quickly. I didn't want to do any of this a second time either and family history that's why I chose the Bilateral Mastectomy.

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@srobinet prayers for your upcoming surgery and recovery. I’m headed for mammogram this morning in hopes the right breast is clear. Will look forward to hearing from you soon.

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panarosmith | @panarosmith | Mar 4 11:08am

The days before surgery are hard so no wonder you're feeling anxious and in your feelings. You're going to do great and don't feel bad about asking for help. I found that people just don't know what to say or do - it's awkward.
It's humbling and gracious to perhaps figure out what you need help with the most - rides to appointments, an easy to prepare/reheat meal, grocery shop, laundry, etc. If you put out specific dates people will come through and you will make them feel useful. If you don't feel comfortable doing it maybe someonw closest to you can organize it.
All the best - you GOT this!
Carol

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marceille08 | @marceille08 | Mar 5 2:51pm
In reply to @panarosmith "The days before surgery are hard so no wonder you're feeling anxious and in your feelings...." + (show)
Profile picture for panarosmith @panarosmith

The days before surgery are hard so no wonder you're feeling anxious and in your feelings. You're going to do great and don't feel bad about asking for help. I found that people just don't know what to say or do - it's awkward.
It's humbling and gracious to perhaps figure out what you need help with the most - rides to appointments, an easy to prepare/reheat meal, grocery shop, laundry, etc. If you put out specific dates people will come through and you will make them feel useful. If you don't feel comfortable doing it maybe someonw closest to you can organize it.
All the best - you GOT this!
Carol

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I've always found it hard to ask for help. On my last breast cancer adventure I came across this helpful phrase. Don't rob others of the opportunity to help you because you'll make them feel helpless. It helped me learn to ask and allow help. We are all strong women even if we don't think it all the time. You will get through this. Know that many people you don't even know are praying for you.

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katgob | @katgob | Mar 6 12:12am

Wonderful posts. I had never had babies or surgery of any kind. My friend dropped me off for my 1st surgery at 5:30am or just before. I had 30 minutes before i looked to get in the building. 30 minutes to talk to God. Text my sister in Ny. All the basic health checks and forms to sign. I had followed all their guidelines the night before. I was worked about having all fluids out of my bladder, they said no worries.
It was the plastic surgeons visit that morning from which i was surprised. This surgery i was having one side removed, so he drew on my body where i will be opened. This shows what surgeons are working on.
I had my ovaries and fallopian tubes the same day. It was 5 or 6 hours of surgery. I remembered nothing.
I KNEW the surgical staff was very good. All had their job in that room. From the anesthesiologist to the bottom half of my body where a Foley life was used.
I came out of the experience grateful for the scientists and engineers who created the machines and tools and the medical staff who are trained and do this surgery often.

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