Connect
← Return to How do you get over the loneliness?
Discussion
How do you get over the loneliness?
Caregivers | Last Active: Mar 10 6:10pm | Replies (14)Comment receiving replies
Monica, I definitely relate other than the crying. My husband has suffered from depression since he retired just over 10 years ago. As a friend once said, nothing is lonelier than being lonely in a marriage. I think that is because of the expectation of companionship and probably more so that needs aren't being met. I feel the worst is needs not being met and the spouses ability to not even see that or try.....to be so self absorbed for whatever reasons, that they have nothing to give to anyone else. I know that sounds rather bleak. I find having my own separate life helps tremendously. A circle of friends to do things with, going solo to do things I want to do, focusing on what would bring me joy . I refuse to be codependent or an enabler as much as possible.
Replies to "Monica, I definitely relate other than the crying. My husband has suffered from depression since he..."
@crabby55
Thank you for your post. I have been the caregiver for my elderly father for over five years in my husband and I’s home. My husband is getting ready to retire. Dad’s health is declining and may soon become more than I can handle alone (and because of some of his health issues, in home care help is not possible). My husband has sacrificed a lot in terms of freedom, privacy, finances, and companionship for my dad’s situation. At this huge life transition (retirement), it is really good that you reminded me that he not only deserves, but needs me to be fully present and not just receiving my exhausted left overs while the main focus is Dad. Dad needs to continue to be a priority, but I’m going to need to find ways where his needs are supported but I still have time and energy for my husband. Thank you so much.
Connect
@crabby55 thank you so much for your post. I think your friend is absolutely right. I used to be upset doing things alone, but you are right, if I don’t do things solo, I am being an enabler. I am fortunate to have a good group of friends and I need to let them help by getting me out without feeling guilty. I’m sorry for your situation, but you seem like a strong person and your strength will definitely help me. Thank you!!