Trying To Get My Nerves Settled: Tonight's Thoughts

@wews
We are all human and how we react is as different—and yet similar—for each of us! I’ve been dealing with all this for over two years as I was first told “nothing to worry about” 1-1/2 years ago. But last February my OB appointment turned into the help that was needed. Finally was examined and another ultrasound where I was immediately told I have ILC, then a phone call saying I would need mastectomy. PANIC—followed by new oncologist surgeon who put me on AI to reduce tumor after 9 more months. Lots of hills and valleys emotionally and most “friends” seemed to disappear from my radar, too. At 79 I’m facing surgery on 3/26. I’m not looking forward to it and have plan on talking to my surgeon to do mastectomy rather than the Lumpectomy originally planned as I don’t want to be told not enough margin removed from tumor and have to redo a second time. Let us know how you get along post surgery and keep confident knowing you have the support of “new friends” here. All the best.

I appreciate all of the prayers being sent my way. I'm trying to stay focused on 1 day at at time.

@buckokey I didn’t same thing choosing mastectomy because I didnt want to worry about clean margins or having it come back in my other breast which I was told ILC sometimes does. We are all in this together. We will prevail. Good luck with your surgery. I hope it all goes well.

I found that many “friends” didn’t reach out at all during my surgery and subsequent chemo and radiation therapies. Many don’t know what to say and many just get caught up in their own lives and/or maybe find our situations too difficult to fathom.
I looked to groups like these and made some of the best friends I’ve ever had and we are still in touch regularly (daily!).
Not sure you’ll ever be “prepared” for your dbl mastectomy but the closer it gets you’ll be glad to get it over with and get it behind you. Then on to the next hard thing; seeing yourself post surgery for the first time. After that then it’s the next hard thing. One thing at a time and before you know it, you’re 6 months post op.
Allow yourself to feel every feeling, sadness, fear, anger, doubt the doctors got it right, even self pity. Allow yourself to wallow in your self pity for a while but pitch a tent, don’t build a house. After a time of wallowing and feeling the feels, pack up your tent, and keep moving forward.
Step by step you’ll see this part getting farther and farther behind you in the tiny rear view mirror.

@rmjackson
Than you for this and I'm very glad I found this message board. It's definitely been encouraging. I have since I posted this had a few old co-workers reach out so that has made me feel better. I was wondering if they ever would. Although it's been 2 years next month since I left to work from home I still miss them.

@buckokey
My dear, I found i told few people about my mastectomy. Few know now that i had it. My family, but only my younger sister speaks as she also carries the genetic BRCA2 mutation. I have a group of six i see regularly and we are together to share as we do here.
I know i was not likely to get a lumpectomy, but from you and others i have heard that AI's were given to shrink a tumor. Noone ever spoke of that at the City of Hope. I had both removed not wanting to think it could return on the other side.
I had my final surgery Dec28th 2022. Today, just today as i walked my daily walk in the morning, I realized I do not feel my fake boobs. Honestly, our friends on this site sometimes go flat. The flap. Me, I had never had big breast so I never thought anything but that i would get implants. Big !! Bigger as i thought i always wanted? Nope. I look exactly the same. I am 65, and what i got made me feel the most normal.
I have treasured friends in the bone marrow stories on this site. I found mayo then but have since crossed to breast cancer where my story began.
Your body, your choice. I have not regretted my decision at all. I had n=so much nerve block manager with my surgery, I had no real boob pain. What i did have was the stomach pain feeling like i had done 2000 setups from my women parts also being removed.
I was ultimately amazed at the work done by my surgeon and plastics dr.
Hoping you give yourself the love you need at 75 to know all of us are here.

@wews @srobinet
I had bilateral mastectomy last year and went flat. Honestly I was scared to death until I got quite a few encouraging posts here. @katgob was one of them. Thank you!
It’s a major surgery but it’s not so bad if you have nerve blocking. I did ask for it, but my surgeon went “huh?” I should have taken it as a sign that she’s not that great. I ended up not getting it and woke up in pain. Fortunately, the nurse gave me pain killers right away through IV. I think she gave me the maximum dose ordered by the doctor. My sister had nerve blocking and she didn’t have to take any pain killer. I think the nerve blocking is good for 2 days. After that the pain is pretty much gone. The drains are not painful at all. They are more of a nuisance. Despite the pain, I woke up and felt relived. I hope you’ll feel the same way. Btw, I had my surgery at Kaiser in downtown LA. If you have surgery at the same facility and want to know the surgeon’s name, you can private message me. Wish you all the best.

@myoga
Nerve block worked, plus the 3 sentinel nodes being removed and both breasts and all tissues, i was also numb for months. I was told some women have the numbness for a good long while. I loved my surgeon. Because of my BRCA2 i see her once a year for now. She moved from COH to Cedars Sinai in La County. Thankfully, this Mayo Clinic site has many resources. Doctors in many states to be recommended.

@katgob
I was in the process of going to your surgeon for mastectomy when Kaiser called me for surgery date. So I went with Kaiser, a decision that I regretted later. I did see your surgeon for second opinion regarding a thick hematoma that seemed to clogged up the drain. She was very attentive and she did a thorough examination. I like her. I wished I had her for my surgery.
I asked for nerve blocking and my surgeon didn’t seem to know what I was asking for. She told me to talk to the anesthesiologist. The anesthesiologist said if the surgeon didn’t do it, then he would. Guess what. Neither of them knew how to do it so I woke up in pain, such a terrible pain! I learned later that there are only four anesthesiologists specializing in nerve blocking but they already left because my surgeon/anesthesiologist didn’t contact them. Now whenever someone talks about mastectomy I always stress on the importance of nerve blocking. You don’t want to wake up and feel the pain! My scars are also messy. I think she was doing a sloppy job. She left right after the surgery and let the resident doctor take care of the rest. The nurse was good though. She did the compression to stop the bleeding on one side which was the side with a large and thick hematoma. There are good surgeons with Kaiser, but she’s not one of them!
Thank you for your encouragement during that difficult time. I admire your courage to go through many surgeries. I couldn’t bring myself to have reconstruction. But I’m happy with my decision. No more bras! Thanks again!

@bpknitter53 I went through treatment during covid also and relied on my husband for everything. I have no children. My friends were very helpful, but they had their own lives to lead. Most of my family had passed as I was the youngest. This site has been wonderful and I've met many wonderful people.