@looneyjm1956 Do not shut your mouth. Please come back and post on this site. It has helped me so much just to be able to share what I am feeling with people that "get it". Expressing your very real anger is so important to your mental health. You have every right to have your feelings be they anger or guilt or grief. I am well into 5 years of dementia caregiving for my husband. I can so relate to your feelings.
The feelings that you are expressing in your post are what I have felt and continue to feel. If you look at the stages of grief (over the loss of life you had been expecting) you will see that you are probably experiencing what is called "anticipatory grief". I didn't know what this was until my husband started his dementia journey. When I am angry, I do something physical like mop the floor, wash the car,( and they get REALLY clean), go for a walk or and this is the best- beat a pillow ( that has a paper written with what ever I am angry at pinned to it) with a waffle ( child's plastic) bat. It is very satisfying and releases a lot of held in anger and tension. Usually by the time I am done, the paper is confetti. You are not alone, my friend. I hope to see you posting here again.