Support for wives with the Orgovyx tornado: Needing an olive branch

@jeffmarc Good for you. I hope your future remains without active PC.

@jeffmarc

Jeff is right on. I'm on Escitalopram and it's made a huge difference. I'm on the lowest dose and I'm not moody or depressed at all. The C word can do that very easily. Definitely think about something like this for hubby. Good luck to you guys!!! < 3

Also on Escialopram (also known as Lexipro). My wife won’t let me forget my “chill” pill. It has made all the difference.

Sometimes side effects of adt treatment are not recognized either. Things like increased dementia risk, osteoporosis, cardiovascular disease. I personally have all three risk factors, and already diagnosed with osteoporosis and cv disease, so adt doing me no favors. I do 5 intense hours at a fitness club each week. These things largely fly beneath the radar, but are actually more life threatening than a change in emotional state. I am and so is my wife, thankful that adt largely has not changed my personality. We are each individual, and how adt affects us personally won’t be known until you embark on the journey. Best to be educated before you go down the road very far. This site is the best place I have found. Bought the book. This is standard of care in Canada. https://www.lifeonadt.com/

To ALL women/wives reading here, a personal THANK YOU for sticking with your man.

What is the AI tool you are referring to here?

@deborah1031 The ArteraAI test: https://artera.ai/arteraai-prostate-cancer-test

It predicts whether a patient will benefit from hormone therapy and estimates long-term outcomes.

@ep1cre, you've heard a lot of helpful experience and knowledge from the guys dealing with Orgovyx or other ADT treatment for prostate cancer. Let me bring in some of the wives who share in this group too, like ericas @sradeb @anything4him @beaquilter @lynnie4ever @gemini27 @ucla2025 @canadaanne @surftohealth88 and many others.

@ep1cre, the mood swings, easy-to-anger, and depression must be hard to manage and keep you walking on egg shells. You've both been through a lot. Does your husband recognize his changes as well and acknowledge them? Are you able to talk about it? I bet finding the right moment to talk about it is hard.

@brianjarvis

Thank you very much. We will definitely look into this!

Hey!
My husband got diagnosed a year ago with Prostate Cancer- PSA almost 300, CT scan showed outside prostate, Biopsy Gleason scores 8 and 9s, PSMA PET scan showed ALL over his body!
My husband refused ADT at first, he'd rather DIE! That's his manhood!!
But I got angry and cried and screamed and threw my office chair around (still have a hole in the wall- a nice reminder!) I felt he was a coward for not "sacrificing" his body for me, for the kids!!
He eventually got the starting Firmagon injection and was supposed to start Lupron after that but he read worse stuff about Lupron and had other reasons why he didn't want to take it, Lupron can Spike testosterone at first-hence why he got Firmagon first.
He was always angry leaving the office, but I think it was more anger at the situation! Cancer sucks!
Now he has NO testosterone, low PSA and he's "cool as a cucumber" sort of, more mellow than I'd like!
He works out at the gym daily and eats right etc.
Of course NO sex life- one little pill worked once but there was no lust behind it, so.....
He's also taking Zytiga and Prednisone pills (which had to be delayed because he stuffed his face with supplements and it wrecked his liver- but I get it, he was desperate!)
He was depressed in the beginning, but is better now, it's been a year and now I'm the one who's more depressed!
Hot flashes has diminished since he just got prescribed gabapentin...which is not really a drug meant for that, he didn't want to take anything like SSRI or antidepressants to help sleep, this gabapentin drug is not really helping with sleep either but because his hot flashes are reduced, he has more energy.
We also take the dog for walks together, talk a lot about "feelings", and try to snuggle while watching TV etc. We read the bible together every morning, even though I'm "mad at God" right now, it's surely shaking up my faith. But I know we live in a fallen world, I'm just mad that I'll be left behind to take care of the kids and LIFE!
Be patient with each other and talk! I have now several friends where they are thinking of divorce after a cancer diagnosis or treatment- on either side, it's the hardest thing we've been thru for SURE!
And that's including losing my husband's job in 2024, then his elderly parents getting worse and dying in the fall, then his diagnosis and then my mom dying right after that, problem with kids too! LIFE SUCKS right now, but you WILL get thru it!
I'm a quilter and often sit and sew and listen to an audiobook and ignore house and kids!
My husband exercises and he loves to cook too (I'm spoiled on that department- I can cook, but he does it most nights now)
I can sit and be mad that my husband didn't go to the doctor for 5-6 yrs (no real symptoms except peeing often), or was it Covid that did it- or the jab- we didn't take it but friends took it right before visiting us from overseas and got Covid while with us and we got it right after, the wife got cancer a year ago too and now my husband, or was it the stress from taking care of his parents? who really knows, we can play the blame game, but we live in a fallen world and bad things happen!
Enjoy the days you have together, even though it stinks to think that the days are numbered! will it be a few years or 5 or 10 or 20?
Hang in there!

My husband has been on Orgovyx and Aberiterone + prednisone for a little over a year. Had proton Therapy in Nov/Dec 2025. Proton therapy great. He has been angry about the Orgovyx since the beginning effects, which were not clearly explained to him by the oncology urologist - who we have since replaced. I totally understand and agree with what you are experiencing and am going through the same experience. Oncologist wants him to continue with both prescriptions for another 2 years. Husband is saying 1 year. We'll see. He insists he is not depressed and will not take anything prescription to help. Says he is taking too many prescriptions as it is - has some other issues. We do take several excellent supplements to support our health, and one that stands out as helping him a lot with mood and temperament is Bliss. He'll take that every day without issue or 'conversation'. I can help with that. Good luck to you both. It's hard. Sometimes just have to go silent and walk away, as nothing I can say or do makes a difference. There's as song, "You only hurt the one you love" that runs through my mind on occasion. My husband apologizes, but that doesn't make it any easier in the moment either.
I am appreciating the comments and help that the men have been offering on this for you.