Jessie, I understand it's very lonely be having pain. I do have family but they got really sick of dealing with it. Then I end up feeling really guilty. I'm sorry that you're by yourself I hope that you can find someone to talk to and be friends with that might be kind enough to help you. Even when you do have people around, it's still a very lonely and isolating.

I second your comments, @jenapower Chronic pain/illness can be incredibly isolating and almost as often misunderstood or misinterpreted by others who encounter the patient struggling with it. My wife suffered from chronic pain from an undiscovered spiral spinal fracture for years before her brain cancer diagnosis. It astounded me how many in our circle of family and friends tossed my wife's feelings aside as they 'decided' what was 'really' her problem. I believe it is far too common an occurrence and the impacts can last a long, long time.

Most in my wife's and my family chalked her chronic pain up to her being a hypochondriac or attention seeker. It was frustrating, angering, and sad for both of us. We did our best to work through our feelings on this, but there was no doubt it was damaging to our relationships with those individuals.

Luckily my wife had the courage of her own convictions to stick with her care plans, etc on her own and with me as her wingman.

It wasn't until years after her brain cancer diagnosis that some of those people acknowledged her journey through chronic pain -- and several never did. Sad for my wife, but sadder for the others.

The isolation breaking is what first drew me here to Connect!

Peace & Strength

Thank you for identifying a very major issue....isolation based on ridicule and lack of unconditional acceptance from friends and family. At 75 and moving through the process of finding tolerance solutions to CMPS, and small fiber neuropathy, I find that, while smaller in number now because of my deselection process, the circle of friends that I choose to keep are supportive in every way. And having my own "wingman" has been an amazingly important asset. Also...I .want to give a shout out to the practice of mindfulness and meditation as well as a daily yoga program. Add that to weekly massage and carefully selected MM and I can find joy in living.

Hi !! I'm Jeri. I have a failed fusion and sooooooo much pain. I have family but they either don't believe the intensity or put me down for taking strong pain meds. I too feel i am at the end of my rope.
Peace

Hi @jeriliz I hear you! In my wife's chronic pain situation her mantra became 'keep your own counsel'.

She tired of so many either offering advice as to what she should try (often based on no experience) and the all too common unfounded criticism of what methods and how she was trying to manage her pain.

She came to believe she was investing too much of her energy explaining herself and not enough of it caring for herself. So she would simply say 'I am doing what my doctor ordered' and carry on while doing her best to ignore the 'peanut gallery'.

Peace & Strength

Jessie,

I'm new here, too. Haven't found solutions, but have found people to share with. Wish I had more spirituality. But there's a thread for that, too. Best wishes.

Hi Jeri,my heart goes out to you,keep taking your pain killers.Its so very hard when your family don't support you when dealing with chronic pain,makes it so much tougher.I am in similar situation,they just don't want to hear about it and feel you should be able to put up with it,five years now for me.The pain meds just keep you sane in dealing with the pain,otherwise one couldn't cope.

Jess, you are not alone.  It's horrible to be so depressed.  Have you checked with your Dr?  Also, be aware that thyroid problems can cause depression.

Hi jerliz, my name is Marie and I also had a spinal fusion and now the Dr is talking about doing another one but when I hear stories like yours I don't know what to do . Could yours be fixed? What happened? I am falling asleep so I will wait for your reply and answer it with my news. Good Luck.

Hi, I am Marie, and also had a fusion L4&5, now wants to add L3 to the fusion. What happened that yours didn't take? Was the Dr. able to fix it or it just didn't take the pain away? After several years my fusion caused a cyst on my spine that had to be removed. It grew right between the fusion. How are you now and what are you doing for the pain?