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H. has a Wellness Check-up: How can I talk to his doctor?
Caregivers | Last Active: Feb 26 6:25pm | Replies (29)Comment receiving replies
You know that is a great question. I know that he won't accept any such diagnosis much less medicine.
Today he spent the day changing and rechanging all his passwords at his accounts - like he was driven. Then he forgets to write them down and he starts again.
I guess maybe peace of mind in that I am really dealing with what I am dealing with.
When he freaked out in the car the other day (I was driving) because he said we were going the wrong way, NOTHING WAS RIGHT, and came close to a panic attack, it truly upset and worried me.
We were going to MY doctor and we have been going this way for years!
I pulled over and assured him that we were on the right highway and just needed to turn at the corner. I could tell he was visibly shaken and even admitted it, but later blamed it on his lack of direction. He has done this before - once when he was driving on a highway we are on almost daily. All of a sudden he didn't know where he was, he was on the wrong road.
I guess one of the things I would like is to get his license revoked because of incidents like this and the diagnosis would probably do it, whether he liked it or not.
Sorry, it is just lonesome not to be able to have the kind of conversations with him like we use to. Yet at times he is as sharp as a tack. You have to spend time with him to see what is going on.
Replies to "You know that is a great question. I know that he won't accept any such diagnosis..."
@kartwk completely know what this is like!
@kartwk I completely understand the fact that you want a diagnosis. It’s something you can sink your teeth into, you can understand the reality of what is going on with him, you can rest assured that you’re not making these behaviors up, you can plan for new needs in your futures, you can get help understanding what you need to learn. I don’t think we need a diagnosis as much for them as for ourselves. Except for potential medications/treatments. We need to see what we’re up against, what’s in store with solid knowledge that we aren’t imagining the slow changes.
It IS very lonely and so sad that we lose our best friend, our best confidant our person to bounce anything off of, whether important or trivial.
If you haven’t already, you should look into Tami Anastasia’s webinars on Mondays at 3 pt. She also has a book that I haven’t read yet, but intend to.
Good luck with it all. We’re here for each other, thank goodness.
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@kartwk , I understand. Yes, symptoms can vary day by day. It’s frustrating. And usually gets worse, not better. I presented the doctors with detailed letters of what the patient was experiencing and what family members were seeing. Fortunately, they dealt with this a lot and understood how to address it with sensitivity. I hope yours works that way.
I also just remembered that the diagnosis might help if you need to get Guardianship of husband. With resistant family members, it sometimes becomes necessary. That’s why legal advice is so important. The courts listen to petitioners who need authority in these situations. It’s doable if facts justify it.
Ref. the driver license. Imo, getting authority to prevent the driving is the most crucial thing if he’s not competent to drive. Getting dmv to revoke doesn’t usually mean anything to a person with dementia. They are likely to drive anyway if they get access. Being revoked is something they forget or don’t acknowledge is a problem. So, if they drive and hurt someone with no license, the insurance won’t cover the damages. That’s why I encourage seeing an attorney and get details on how to get authorization to remove access to driving while they’re still covered by insurance.
Managing the care of someone who is cognitively impaired is daunting. I hope you can get some help and get information on your options.