I have posted previously on other threads but today has been especially hard. My husband who is 9 years older has had prostrate cancer which recently returned so he is on Lupron, in the last year he fractured his back 3 times so he is walking bent over and he has what I believe to be dementia. I have been putting off taking him to a neurologist because he is a happy person and although he realizes he has memory loss I don’t want a doctor emphasizing this, we have an appointment on Tuesday. We have never mentioned the word dementia or the fact he has cancer, I never saw the point in worrying him. Lately though I am exhausted the weather here is like spring so I like to be outside working however when I come in all the things that I didn’t do are still waiting to be done. Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love my husband he helps as much as he can does the dishes, garbage fills the keurig etc and sweeps outside when I am working. But he misplaces everything and I find that exhausting looking for everything, he also is now using words that do not belong to what he is saying, he also thinks if he rinses the dishes he does not have to wash them with soap if I mention this he gets angry. He will not wear his hearing aids so I get hoarse. We have no family here and no kids. Someone gave me the name of a daycare that I am going to call but I know that he will not like that because he wants to be with me and really I want to be with him. I’m so tired and because I am having a really bad day I think is this how the rest of my life will be like? I hate myself for thinking that but I am so tired. Just so you know you are definitely not alone. I also think what if I put I in some type of day care and something happens to him and I’m not there? I could never forgive myself if I thought he was asking for me and I wasn’t there?