@suzleigh Don't give up on the ECT. It takes more treatments for some people than for others. Given the trauma you've survived, it's not surprising that you need more treatments (spoken as a fellow survivor, not a doctor). Some people have loss of memory of the bad bits of their past when they do ECT. There are some chunks of my life that I'd be happy to forget. But amnesia doesn't sound to be a side effect for you.

Keep going until you get a breakthrough.

Jim