I’ve been through 5 ECT treatments and the worst I’ve experienced is a little confusion when first waking up. The depression is still full on. I wonder every day if or when the ECT might start working.

I already don’t remember most of my life, I believe from the dissociation and my memory button being jammed off, likely either when my mother broke my femur at 11 months or when she scalded my leg when I was 2. In short, I had to dissociate in order to survive but then never knew I needed to turn the memory button back on again, so it remains jammed shut. It’s weird but I never realized the memory loss until recently. I just never gave any thought to care about it.