@hopeseeker22 I do get it. Completely understand, what could be will never be. The lives of your family completely shattered by mental illness, the loss of your daughter as she once was. No words to truly comfort you. I am guessing you and your family have a strong support system in place, if not get one! Lots of mental health organizations and support groups for families impacted by mental illness are out there. Read lots of material too, lots of books for families to help them cope with the unthinkable. Of upmost importance is maintaining your health and your family's health. Physical and mental. Continue with your own therapy work. And, so very important, your therapist is right. Do not go bankrupt trying to help/save her!!
Gradually hold back funds for her. There are group mental health homes where she ultimately can live. You must, you must take care of your own finances! What good will it be for you to lose everything ($$)...what will happen to your adult daughter is so much out of your control. Since she is living with you - should she experience out of control episodes - do not hesitate to call 911 or your emergency personnel where you live. She needs to be safe and so do you!
Don't give up your life for her. Yes, be there for her within reason. You certainly have already gone above and beyond for her at this point in time. You are drowning. You must save yourself. Slowly but surely take back your life. You deserve to! Mend your entire family...as best you can and it WILL involve letting her go. Since you say she is a very good nurse working, she is making $$$. Perhaps time for her to manage her own little apartment. She can do this as long as she maintains her medications, therapy, psychiatric visits and do ALL that is recommended by her treatment team. She didn't ask for this - no one did. But you must accept her for exactly for the road she alone must travel. This is HER journey in life. Not yours. She is not a child anymore. For whatever reason, God chose this path for you. Heart-breaking as it is. I more than feel for you...I have a 41 year old son also with severe mental illness and we are struggling to find the right medications for him. He too is working but lives in another state...he can function to a great extent. Then days in bed...unable to move, completely paralyzed. So I get it. At my age, I am trying to live my life DESPITE the life my beloved son, my only child is living. His potential so great but seemingly lost at this point.
I worked very hard my entire life. I deserve NOT to give up my life...for my son's life. But I am forever and always there for him if needed - WITHIN REASON. My love for him is unconditional. Don't give up hope. Try to find your own peace in this. And stay strongly connected to your faith/higher power. Oftentimes, the only thing, the best thing to do is - pray. Blessings to you.