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Is my life really worth living?
Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Feb 21 11:49am | Replies (22)Comment receiving replies
I have been out of medication for several months now which is why I feel I have sunken into this gloom and doom mode. The pharmacy won't extend anything after this much time has passed. I have my sister encouraging me to get my doctor. I had an appointment today at 10:00 I missed the appointment, but have it rescheduled for February 5th. So today how am I doing, well I received in the mail from my niece cremation ashes of my nephew who was run down by a speeding motorist. Well needless to say I am not quite ready to open that box just yet! Other than that, I am doing okay I guess as well as can be expected I am also facing eviction, but I am applying for rental assistance.
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@scatterbrained1 The short answer to your question, "Is my life worth living?", is Yes. The long answer is a lot more complicated.
There are millions of people who go through life wondering the same thing. I've been one of them, when my life has fallen apart, and I've been trying to survive with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and rejection. 20 years ago I attempted suicide several times because I really thought it wasn't worth going on. In the interim, I have found various things that make it feel worth the effort, some lasting just a short time, others for several years. There's no real point in telling you what those things have been because reasons to live vary from one person to another. It may be a pet or a psychiatric service animal, or finding ways to help others by volunteering, or it could be something simple like discovering something that catches your interest. I've been thinking about volunteering at the local animal shelter, maybe by walking dogs or by doing whatever is needed.
I'm glad you have an appointment this week to get restarted on medication. Staying on top of prescription refills is one of my part time jobs! What a circus the pharmaceutical industry is!
When I have been at my lowest, I would set goals for myself to keep living, sometimes just a day away, eventually a month or more away. Right now I have a couple of projects going in my woodshop, and our son is coming in April for a visit - he lives in Indianapolis, and we're in Oregon, so visits are few and far between. My next goal will be having our daughter and her family visit in August, from Port Angeles WA. Having things, even just small things like knowing you have an appointment in 4 days, are helpful in giving us a reason to live.
Some have mentioned church, and I know that can be a hard one, depending on your experience, but there are good churches to be found that are worth looking around for. You can look at how the church projects love, welcome, peace, faith, and kindness -and worship you can enjoy. You won't find all those things in every church, I'm sorry to say (speaking as a retired pastor). But they're out there.
YOUR life is worth living. That's what matters. Accept that one day at a time.
Jim Dickinson