@lisalucier. Just jumping in as I also have bowel issues. Since radiation treatment for anal cancer, I also feel like I'm leaving something behind whenever I successfully go. I find, simply moving around the house helps me to go some more and oftentimes throughout the day; or else I don't go at all for days.
Things seem so weird for me from diagnosis of a HPV related cancer that came from nowhere after a 50 yr marriage to today whereby my bowels simply won't cooperate. I think accepting the situation, relieving some of the stress and adapting are all helpful.
Sorry that I am not too helpful for you but know you aren't alone. I'm starting the first retesting of everything now.
I just wish all the various medical folks would be more open about expectations or what we could experience along the way.