@birgitr Oye!! This is where you can now help me!! LOL Math! Cringe!! The mere mention of that subject sets my palms to sweating. 😂 But that does explain why you want to understand the ‘how could this evolve’ finer points of your diagnosis.
My husband is ‘Mr Science’ with a background in chemistry, organic chemistry and math…he’s focused on finite/predictable outcomes such as you’re used to. So when I developed an aggressive blood cancer and went through treatments it was easier for me to cope than for him! Because in a blood cancer nothing is predictable, statistics didn’t always compute, and there were no finite results that he could count on! In my non-linear brain, I was fine with taking each day as it came with whatever ‘fresh hell’ awaited. 😅. He wanted answers. He wanted facts and figures.
When first diagnosed I was admitted to the hospital for 5 weeks. My husband developed a fun rapport with my chemo nurses. They were so sweet. Anyway, every morning when he came to visit me, they would have a printout of all my blood result numbers and hand it to him. That way he could enter everything on a spreadsheet. It helped him make sense of the trends in my blood numbers, what everything meant and if my health was deteriorating or making progress.

I wish you well on your mission to ‘the bright side of life’! You might want to do a search online for Self Affirmations or Positive Affirmations which may help guide you along the journey. The theory behind refocusing thoughts to a more positive pattern is that, with repetition of affirming statements, the brain can form new neural pathways, which create physical connections to these repeated thoughts.
So, by strengthening these pathways it may be easier for the mind to return to positive thinking patterns rather than falling back into negative thinking. Eventually, this may lead to positive mental outcomes. It takes practice. It’s not that I never have negative thoughts. It’s that I only allow myself to dwell briefly on that negative thought and move on! My mantra is Accept, adapt and move on. Hopefully that helps!
Keep me posted on your progress in Happy Land and your ET, ok? 🥰