I am in very similar if not even worse circumstances. Having "lost my kind young husband to terrible personality breakdown" in 1990. We had 2 beautiful infants at that time. 6 months and 18 months.
I was eventually left with no choice but to divorce him. Devoted life to babies happy wonderful well adjusted infants children. Became capable confident wonderful people skills. Clever respectful outgoing teenagers. Eldest my son went to University. Yet daughter at same time felt the loss of him the wrench away from home. She suffered a cluster of vaso vagal collapses. Neither her nor I at the time knew what was happening. Son thrived at his BA course whilst living in Halls away at Uni Natural concerns over sister took his focus away from applying himself. At that point I noticed time to time my son's change of behaviour. In my ignorance put it down to influences at Uni. My daughter lost all her wonderful self confidence. That was the beginning of cracks in her personality. Which are only evident in retrospect. That was 20 years ago at aged 16. Beautiful angel of consolation. Kind loving gifted in many ways. This beloved daughter has gone completely. Only to have become unprovoked vindictive and malevolent towards her beloved mum. There is no change in her ruminating narrative after all these years have past. Especially noticeable in Ed 2009 she became detached and lost her familial loving bond.. It just deteriorated and to this day holds the same bizarre wordplay. Which is traumatic for me to listen to. Bringing it home she not anyone close to her has influenced her for healing counselling. I'm at the other side of the excruciating pain and at a loss what as a mother I can do. She hid from me throughout her 20s 😔 despite me making efforts to connect. With bizarre intermittent contact to say she loved me but nothing made sense and arrangements to meet up never came to fruition. I can scarcely believe I'm still alive today at the pain every minute of the hours of the months and years without her smile her laughter love and kindness. Where do I go from here to bring about a healing for her. She is now about to be 37. No children Yet she works freelance.. I'm certain she relapses often & despite growing up with stable weight being very outdoors active. An eating disorder is evident. I'm not missed nor confided in it's as if I don't exist anymore.. Me the object of Constancy of Constancy is all but forgotten. They were both well brought up with a lovely respect for their mum that's all gone as they have. There's too much to tell.
My lifeline and miracle was leaning entirely upon God. What human could ever sort such complexity. She is a clever girl yet seems unaware she has lost herself. Now in 2026 I must have failed her to restore her senses to herself. It's beyond heartbreaking what I've witnessed heard and seen.. Like a never ending Horror movie is my only life. Metaphorically standing at a bus stop waiting waiting waiting for them to come home.......
What is this? Spiritual Warfare. I'm ready to fight.
If anyone is suffering the same The Power of Prayer is as real as electricity and God somehow gives me strength and Hope. Please pray for this ongoing daily situation unabated in 16 years.

What must I do?