@jubilta77 you have my deepest sympathy for your plight. 15 years is a long time to endure what you've been through. It was very negligent of the doctors to not investigate further when the lesion didn't go away. There was no excuse to let it go on for 4 years. When I went through it 20 years ago for a lesion on the base of the tongue. They were rather ignorant on the matter as it was a rare thing. Incidents have more than doubled since then. Aside from the usual problems of having your mouth and throat burned from radiation and your body poisoned by chemo, I learned to live with the deficits. A few years back, a side effect of the radiation has left me with uncontrollable blood pressure. I'm constantly chasing the symptoms of extreme highs and lows, and it will eventually lead to as stroke or heart failure. Still, I consider myself to be fortunate that I've had these many years. I haven't suffered as others have that I've met here. I've gotten to watch my grandkids grow and live a life on borrowed time. I have found that being grateful for what I have helps to stave off depression, though there are times it is difficult, especially when the body reminds me it's been through hell. I hope you find bright spots in every day.