@brightwings.....just found your lovely note to me. Sounds like you've perfected empathy, but I find those that have suffered much, and I don't mean just physical, are deeply empathetic. I ve spent 41 years married to a man 100% disabled by PTSD (marine, Vietnam War veteran) diagnosed unemployable. Ate stress morning noon and night. Abusive when triggered. Spent life desperate to avoid triggers. Learned to recognize the steps leading to meltdown, learned to cut it off, if possible. Poor hubby. Poor family. Neither husband or I even knew what we were dealing with for first 35 years of marriage. It was obvious he wasn't "normal", but it wasn't until a very stressful event occurred that he was convinced he absolutely had a problem that he absolutely could not control. Long story short. He went to VA. Was considered a classic case of severe debilitating PTSD. Received long overdue counseling, was put on disability. With no need to be reevaluted...which is normally mandated every one or two years at the VA Best thing that has happened in our 41 years together. So, abuse, due to little fault of his own, if you understand PTSD at all....is managed by finally having the tools to deal with his through the roof anxiety, phobias, and temper. Do you wonder about how much the abuse and stress contributed to your stroke later on? I do, but it really doesn't matter at this point. Sounds as though you've learned the art of making lemonade from lemons. You really do sound so "bright".

Life may have been bitter, but it was also sweet. My husband has always been supportive (when he wasn't having a meltdown) faithfull 100% always, protective, and a seeker of truth. He taught our 6 kids history, politics, economics, intelligent debate and the art of arguement ( as in debate). Provided a moral standard, work ethic, self sufficiency, problem solving. He is an electrician, artist, writer, inventor, musician. Together we managed to produce a photographer, composer of 16th century style sacred music/teacher of gregorian chant, two graphite portrait artists, a soprano, a tenor, a baritone singer. Website designer, engineer, builder/designer, business entrepeneur, farmer, and those married homeschool their own kids, just as we did. Most of the kids have more than one skill. NOh WAY was I smart enough or talented enough to make any of the above happen. Together hubby and I worked to create a home environment that allowed for developing talents. God gave them gifts. We did not.

Why tell the above? Certainly not to boast, because as I've said, no way can I make those things happen. And certainly I can't provide the talent and the level of skill needed to master those arts. I mention all the above to outline what my life was filled with BEFORE stroke. AFTER stroke my most thrilling accomplishments were buttoning my shirt, doing the ties on my shoes, putting my hair in a pony tail. My joy now is rocking my grandkids (14 of them), listening to them prattle, watching them draw and paint, play organ and piano. I still have life to live, thank God, but it's not at all what I imagined for my golden years. How about you? We're you prepared? Or foresee trouble down the road? I don't whine about it...does no good...and is annoying. My participationin life now is according to abilities on any given day. Life has been greatly simplified, that's for sure, which isn't all bad, lol. But, when you've spent your life working hard and producing...don't care if it's only raising animals, growing your own food, canning, or refinishing furniture...and you're reduced to relying on others, and just doing little things, it takes much mental adjustment, don't you think?

Thank you for your kind note. Again, my letter sounds like I'm tooting my horn. My kids got in trouble, caused heartache and disappointment, like most kids, but life was just so colorful and rich. My lesson to be learned is to explore the little noticed riches in life. To appreciate that which I may not have properly appreciated. My kids stepped up and took care of me, which is to be valued much more than a special skill. My husband will go to any lengths to see I get what I need. And each day, to wake up to another day and another chance to be a better me is a priceless gift. I want to be properly grateful and learn to look ahead instead of brooding over what is no longer. Really. Mental ruts are torture. You sound like you are excited and thrilled to share with others your excitement and pleasure of life.So very happy for you! God bless you! JMJ