Newly Diagnosed Lumpectomy or Mastectomy? Mom had Triple Negative

I understand completely about missing your Mom, I think of my Mom also, missing her dearly.
No matter our ages or theirs...when we suffer the loss of a beloved Mother, there is such pain in our hearts, always.
I am glad to hear you are leaning towards the BM but, again, we all understandably do what feels right for us.
I don't know your age, I am 70. Perhaps if I was a young woman I would go with reconstruction but at my age - I am not looking for more potentials complications down the road and they certainly do happen. And with my heart disease (my cancer was in both breasts) radiation with lumpectomies "could" damage an already damaged heart. With this and other health issues, I decided I wasn't going to potentially add on more. No worries about tops fitting, after your incisions are healed, swelling down (9-12 weeks) I went to a certified mastectomy fitter for my prosthesis and bras. They know what they are doing and fit you well. I am on Medicare and received 3 bras plus the prosthesis at no charge (every 3 months you can get 3 bras and every 2 years a new set of prosthesis). Also, on line you can check out Busted Tank and see what they offer. Their bra forms/inserts are lighter and offer many sizes. However, you must try out the sizes yourself but you can contact them via email only for their input on size. All their business is on line, they don't take phone calls. Sometimes it's trial and error to find your best fit. Prices are very reasonable. And to be honest, there were many times I just wore one of their form fitting tanks under my top and went "flat" with possibly a nice scarf around my neck. It's all good but can be overwhelming as you begin your cancer journey. Take it a day at a time. Slowly get all your ducks in a row. Also contact your local cancer center...they can set you up with a volunteer you can speak with on the phone - someone who has already went down the road and is a survivor who can help you. If you wish to speak to me directly, just message me privately, no pressure, whatever you wish to do, I would gladly speak with you. I had my BM in May 2025 and everything (right now in the present) I am doing well. Prayers and strength to/for you.

I was diagnosed in 2023 with TNBC, grade 3, less than 2 cm, DCIS. I was 72 so my oncologist at a nationally top 5 ranked clinic, decided I should go the conservative route; lumpectomy, chemo (taxetere/carboplatin), 30 days of proton radiation. I was uneasy with this decision but didn’t feel like I knew enough to challenge it. Decision was made by small tumor size and age (although my physical condition was far younger). My cancer came back in the same location in less than 6 months. This time, I insisted on aggressive therapy and was put on Keynote 522 trial with Taxol, Adriamycin, Pembro, etc. grueling therapy but we believe the Adriamycin shrank the tumor. I went for mastectomy (wanted bi-lateral this time, but had blood clot from port so only had one side done). Pathology showed that TNBC was gone, but now I had ER+. I am now on AI therapy for 5 years to life. In my opinion, I would seek the most aggressive treatment first and I would definitely have a mastectomy and not a lumpectomy. Good luck and make sure to ask questions, have your voice heard and go with your gut.

My experience was much like Briarrose and Beckyboston. I had a DCI diagnosis, 2cm, triple negative BC. I asked for genetic testing and found the ATM gene. Genetic testing is now protocol for this type of cancer. Finding this gene informed the Chemo prescribed. As a result, I decided on a total mastectomy and chose not to rebuild. I was 72 and just wanted to heal and get on with my life. I also believed that I would be better able to detect a change without an implant.
When you decide on your surgery, they do not know what they will find when they go in and test your tissues. My lymph nodes were clear, but I did have a small amount of lympho vascular invasion and some microscopic DCIS. My oncologist did not even speak about the possibility of finding these things. I was glad that I had made the choice I made. Having all that tissue gone was a good thing. While I was healing, I used scarves. After that, I found comfortable insert bras and used silicone breast forms.
I also never told my friends about my mastectomy choice because I felt it was my private business. I also lost my hair and now wear a wig that everyone loves. For me, the aggressive approach was right and I have no regrets. Only you can know what is right for you. I believe the “damage” can be navigated successfully.

Everyone's stuff is so different, so of course you and your team know best. I had Stage 3B TNBC, diagnosed with a three month old son, so I can relate. Hugs and so sorry about your mom!

I went through UCLA and we did a different thing --

My team advocated for a single mascectomy, since the tumors had not reached my other side, despite the cancer being in my lymph nodes, chest wall, and skin. It hasn't gotten into my blood.

It didn't make sense at the time, but since all the treatments were so extreme it was good to have less surgery.

6 years out I am still alive, with no reoccurrences, and side effect damage that I am okay to live with.

Also, since we knew with the advanced spread that chemo wouldn't reach all of it, and we added max radiation and oral chemo.

I've exhausted many future treatment options, so having a surgery if something comes up is a good front line of defense down the road.

I am glad you are here, best wishes

@seathink Thank you for sharing your story. There are so many decisions to make but I am trying to go through them one at a time by researching . I am almost 63 and will most likely have the Mastectomy not sure yet if I'm going to do bilateral. I hope you continue to do well.

I say the double mastectomy. I had IDC last April and did just that. Don’t give the recurrence a chance. When it comes back it is usually a bigger deal. I have no regrets. Piece of mind is so much more important than a couple of boobs.

@jawold thank you and I am leaning in that direction.

@wews I got the book it took a while to get here it must be popular. I love the book and it helped me quite a bit. Thank you for recommending it.

@srobinet so glad it helped. Honestly it was a game changer for me. I still refer to it. I hope you do well and send hugs.

Hello

Sorry you’re going through this.

I found a lump and dx last year . , it was small and we were discussing lumpectomy . Further testing showed multiple focal points and did a double mastectomy with reconstruction

Thank goodness I did , there was cancer all over left breast and lymph nodes , and also on the right

I would recommend both , get it over with . The recovery sucks , but you get through it. The drains especially were uncomfortable , and sleeping was rough.

It’s a year since surgery , I followed with radiation , anastozole, Lupron, and Kisqali . Aside from menopause hot flashes and fatigue , no major side effects

Good luck in your journey ,