Hi Hammondm99, I think that having a stroke and the changes it makes to you as an individual is a very massive thing.
For me, I was focused on how impressive my recovery was but the hard part was realising, that there is more to it than that.
A question that I get asked a lot and my wife did after her SAH, is, are you better now? I found it at the time and still do, the most frustrating question. You are different after your stroke, not necessarily in a bad way, but just because I look well it does not mean my brain is better.
People used to look at my wife when she first volunteered in a tuck shop after she came home, she was a bit slow giving the change out and the looks she got were terrible. You almost wanted to wear a badge saying don't assume I'm stupid! …. I've had a stroke please be patient!
I think that is a problem as so far as brain related injury, ilness etc, if people can't see a physical maifestation then they assume you are fine. I would like to be fine but then accepting that this is the new me and I am happy with that and however that changes in the future is a big thing.
It is very worrying, stressful and sometimes depressing, I think this is normal.
Great news that you are playing guitar and please keep that up, I have always been rubbish at playing the guitair. It would have been cool to wake up with a new ability to play like hendrix but I got worse! It is interesting reading about your triathlons etc, I know a lot of retired professional athletes, these are guys that won vets world records, some have run 200+ marathons and in thier 60's some in thier 70's have all developed AFIB, very strange. Please keep in touch.
I think the most frustrating thing I hear from people that have never had a stroke is telling me how lucky I am it wasn't worse. Lucky is the 20 something year old in Florida that won the lottery, I had a stroke, nothing lucky there! Yes, I am fortunate that it wasn't worse, but I wouldn't exactly call anything to do with a stroke lucky. When I was in the ICU for stroke patients, I saw a lot of people worse off than me, but I still had a heck of a time making it 20 feet from my bed to the bathroom and the nurse still had to keep a hold on me the entire time so I didn't fall over.
Thanks for the good words on the guitar. I have been playing since my early teens, part of life now, never going to give that up! I agree it would have been nice to open a new part of my brain and play like some of the legends!