Connect
← Return to Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”
Discussion
Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 3 hours ago | Replies (571)Comment receiving replies
@minniem I have been dealing with this for some time. Around Christmas, I unknowingly accepted my husbands dementia. I thought it was another stage of his dementia but it was me. I became more loving, laughed more, smiled more, and once again started enjoying what we have. Our 56th anniversary was just before Christmas and I have prayed to God that thing would get more tolerable. I was so stressed and trying to carry on as we had for so long. I had to change and it just happened. We are hugging and loving one another again. I don't know what I am facing each morning when I wake, but I know I can deal with it if I smile, love him, and find some things to laugh about. I didn't realize that I was grieving, I was angry, and I was not accepting what was happening to my husband. I now know "it is what it is" and I am enjoying every day no matter what it brings. I cannot tell anyone how to get to this point as we are all different and grieving is real-each person will grieve longer and harder. Trying to recognize what is causing all of your stress. I have given up on keeping the house organized as he just is not organized anymore. I have given up on cleaning all the time as he needs my time if just to sit with him. I have given up asking him what he wants for dinner as he does not know so I just fix it and he eats it. A side note. I am 77 and still cooking. I have always cooked and we seldom eat out. I have been somewhat of a gourmet cook. I have found that he now prefers food that teenagers like. I make him pizza, hamburgers, burritos, etc. and he loves it. I hope this is helpful to someone.
Replies to "@minniem I have been dealing with this for some time. Around Christmas, I unknowingly accepted my..."
@lizzabeth Oh my gosh, what you wrote was so very helpful. it really made me think about my own resentment, anger, frustration, sadness, etc., etc.... I want to make him be who he used to be so badly...
I'm happy for you that you found your way. You also made me acknowledge a new path to try and follow.
@lizzabeth: Thank you for your “eye, brain & heart awareness”! It has reached my distressed heart and shown me that I must accept my partners cognitive decline. I must open my heart to the goodness I have today. This is the best it is going to get… for this disease is in the process of taking him from me. I will enjoy the happiness we can share today!
Thank you so much for helping me see that my complaining only makes me feel worse. The irritation I feel from his words or lack of action are not his fault.
I will find solace in doing my best to appreciate all the good.
You are an Angel!
@lizzabeth I saw myself in your post. I think it’s only natural to fight against the disease, after all, everything we know to be true is changing. I can see that I am becoming more adapted to my husband’s many changes, and like you, I am making the adjustments I need to make with my own thinking and actions about how things should be to ensure that he is happy in his world. It has not been easy…I have not been a happy camper, but I realize he cannot help his situation but I can.
@lizzabeth Thank you for your post. It made me think about all the small adjustments I have already made and reinforced my desire, again, to be more patient and loving. What caregivers class have you all taken? All the best.
Connect
@lizzabeth
Thank you so much for what you wrote! I feel it shows a path that I can follow, too, even though maybe not yet. But it gives me hope. I know in my heart that it's the way to go, giving things up and turning towards my beloved.
Again thank you.