Goldie, the not being alone part is why I am here. I relate to much of what you have said and sunsetchris.....whew. I feel for you. My husband has many health issues from his time in Vietnam. Just a few years back I finally got him to really go to the VA. He gets 100% disability from them for his medical issues. I wish he would stick with them for a few other things. They are not the easiest to deal with. He has PTSD, which is possibly a big part of the root of his depression but VA keeps dismissing it. He can come off well when needed but around the house.....! He thinks he is so independent but it is overwhelming all I have to do to make life run smoothly while he is too depressed to do much. And of course, his health issues exacerbate all that. He retired 10 years ago so now has all the time in the world to focus on being miserable LOL! He has every reason why everything is so much easier for me. It's nice to know we are not alone.We need to feel our own importance and do accordingly. Whether that means going out for a walk, meditate at the park, get our nails done or seek off to a movie. We need to feed our own souls. Also. medicare does pay for some services. We need to be our own advocate sometimes to get some of these. Ask your Dr or his.