A Life Well Lived

I'm a financial advisor by profession. I have spent my life planning for the future and teaching people how to use their resources to accomplish what they are planning. Most of the time they have wanted to educate their kids and to retire financially comfortably. Along the way we usually have to make adjustments to that plan because life went in another direction.

I'm no exception. During my life I've had to change my hopes for the future many times. I've started over in both marriage and career more than once. I struggled with infertility when having a family was important to me. Every time I came through those experiences feeling like I live a charmed life, because I was standing in a good place. A place that I was able to piece together that was comfortable and I had all I needed and often times more.

I had an awesome plan before cancer. I own my own practice. That means I could work as much as I wanted for as long as I wanted. I was planning on working into my 70s. I enjoy my clients and I enjoy the income. My ultimate goal was to make my daughter a very wealthy woman when I die at a very old age.

I expected to live long. I'm from a long lived family. My fear was that I would live to long and run out of resources. Then came the cancer diagnosis. That was shocking enough, but then I learn that my cancer cell line is rare, aggressive, resistant to treatment and comes with a poor prognosis. How do I put the pieces together after that?

The diagnosis is less than 4 months. It's been a whirlwind of activity. Most of my education about my situation has been through research I do myself and then asking the providers their opinion on what I learned. The Doctors and Nurses Practitioners are limited in the time they have with me. Their objected is to assess my well bing and they don't have time to go into the kind of detail that a person like me wants to know.

Four months is enough time though to realize all hope is not lost. I do have the opportunity to do things thing that will help me rid my body of cancer.

I'm adjusting my plan once again. I want to live long and I don't want to be distraught if learn that I won't. That's a tricky plan to put together. Be where:

"The best-laid plans of mice and men oft' go awry …and leave us nothing but grief and pain, For promised joy!” Robert Burns

The moral of that poem for me today is that I need to see the joy of everyday and know that my plan my never come to fruition, not for the lack of planning but because life has a way of doing its own thing.

I have decided to make cancer life style changes the focus of my plan and to make that an enjoyable pursuit. I already made many of those changes before the knowledge of cancer so I'm well on my way.

Yesterday I told my trainer I wanted to be a bodybuilder and showed him a video of a 72 year old woman bodybuilder. I'm also well in my way for that as well. I have lost 40 pounds over the past 2 years and I'm very lean. I'm also muscler.

I'm going to keep working but with a different mind set. I need to work because I love the interaction I have with my clients. The income is very good and it will allow me to spoil myself, my daughter and the man I love. I'm a financial planner. I have purchased the products that will make my daughter wealthy even if I don't become a very old lady. I don't have to keep up with the Jones and I never did, usually.

I've got this! No matter what life brings me I'm going to be able to adjust my plan. Living long isn't as important as a life well lived.

To all of you who are in a journey similar to mine, you have the ability to have a life well lived. Godspeed to you.

Picture is from last night. A witches walk with my sister and soulmate.